I have a friend who lives on the West coast of the US who refers to me as “buddy” a lot, and I don’t mention it, but it gives me the ick (she knew me pre-transition). I think she just uses it like a gender-neutral word for anyone (the way “dude” and “bro” ca be used sometimes), but I’m triggered, lol 😅
In public / with people who never knew me before transition, people will often refer to me and whoever I’m with (they’re usually women) as “ladies” (ironically my sister-in-law hates how often she is called “ladies” when she’s around me, lol).
On the phone or individually people often refer to me as “dear”. In the South, I got a lot more “sweetie”, “honey”, and even “sweet girl” and “good girl”.
What have your experiences been like (before, during, and after transition)?
yeah, I’m familiar with the way “Jungs” is used, for example. Can’t think of a direct female-equivalent, but I’m not native 🤔
Makes sense that it’s mostly formal titles. I think I learned about this mostly in the context of navigating university bureaucracy from the perspective of a professor.
Technically (the best kind of correct), the female equivalent for Jungs would be Mädels, but it’s hard to get right.
I’d only use it for a group of girls I’m a part of, and have only heard it used that way. Imagine: “Ich treffe mich heute mit meinen Mädels”. (eng.: “I’m going to meet up with my girls.”).
I hope this translates well enough to convey my impression that if somebody else uses it, it’s inappropriately close language for somebody they may not know that good.
yeah, I think that comes across - “Jungs” also feels weirdly intimate / familiar, like “my bros” or something, or “my boys” …
Thanks for introducing me to Mädels, it’s really helpful to actually talk to someone familiar with the language - I always struggle in my adoption of German because of lack of social context and use. It has really declined over the last 5 years, I’m afraid, I have probably slipped from a B-1 to more like an A-2 level or less 😞
Yes, I agree. I’ve actually only ever encountered it in family situations, like when somebody has multiple male kids, or in school.
It’s my pleasure, I’d happily offer my services as a native speaker. I fear that the same is happening to the French I learned until I finished high school.
oh yeah i forgot “jungs” exists. i associate it with sports and other heavily homosocial contexts. female equivalent would be “mädels”. i guess “mädels” is gaining acceptance? hm.
i hate both. i may not be the most representative speaker of german. if i had something to say everyone would be addressed with just “hey” or “ummm”, depending on if you gonna ask a question. (for all the languages) 😆
I found myself very avoidant of gendered language when I was pre-transition, but once I transitioned it was a complete 180 - now I recognize how important and affirming gender can be, so I’m a big fan of gendered language (when used appropriately, obvi).