i’m rooting for you! :3

ty for the recommendation! :)

i’m glad you found out about yourself. i know this feels crushing, and probably comes in a time in which you have a lot more to worry about. for more practical advice the country you live in might be very helpful. bc national and local situations vary widely. (you say it’s late at night, so we do not live in the same time-zone, unfortunately.)

I’m used to keeping up appearances for a long time even when I’m not doing well, so the sudden shift to the absolute mess I am internally right now is just too much.

that’s the case for any crisis. people cope until they can’t. up until that point, they are “fine” when asked. if you trust them, let them know how you feel.

We have so little life experience, and we’re practically still kids. They don’t have the resources or capacity to deal with me as I am right now, and I’m not willing to put that burden on them.

maybe they don’t have to “deal with you”. just listening for an evening and then call you differently might be a big relief for you already. you might even be surprised, what they are willing to do.

i wish you the best of luck. and in any case seek out fir a somewhat local support group. all of us need queer networks. not only if things go sideways, but for all the practical advice, and the feeling that there are a few real people with faces, who will be on your side.

ouuuu yeah

i can’t talk about romantical relationships in any way. but i imagine it to be a friendship with even higher levels of trust and closeness?

I felt bad enough going to the first appointment “secretly”, despite my body being my own choice but as life partners it feels wrong.

this secrecy is what i can’t stand in my life. i hate the feeling of hiding, policing how i act, what i wear and not telling where i am going. i was confronted with the question, if i would keep the info of being trans from a partner, if i could pass consistently. as soon as i felt i was actively keeping a secrect and having to put effort in it, i wouldn’t want that, i can’t stand it. not even with friends. i’d imagine in a romantical relationship my tolerance for that feeling would be even lower.

outings are opportunities to learn more about the people in your life. :)

nope. i’ll send you mine. ;)

There’s no doubt that I’ll get through this, because for the first time in my life I’m looking into the future with the hope of actually living a happy life.

✊🏳️‍⚧️ you will succeed eventually! :)

i’m in germany. i know two therapists in northern germany you might wanna try. both fans of informed consent. maybe they can even help you out via remote therapy. (if you like i’d send you their contacts via pm, bc location …)

• first one is pretty much a person to give you his rubberstamp after one or two sessions. but in the region endocrinologist tend to not accept indications from him. so living somewhere else and having an endo somewhere else might be an option.
• second one is also super trans friendly, does group therapy over half a year, so that it counts for surgeries. an indication for hrt might? be possible earlier.

in both cases, if getting there physically is not an option, asking for remote sessions would at least be an option if you’d be ok with paying yourself? idk …

we are good. he probably just was with his new semi-regular grinder hook-up. ;)

argh! should’ve picked: małgorzata brzęczyszczykiewić :))

ty!

ty!

ty. i’m really super unhungry. but i’ll make tea.

i am now pretty much stuck with it (the short form) there is no way i am doing this again, ever. at least no the public anouncement.

i might come back to having a goth nsme. “hi, i’m misery, glad to meet you.” :)

ok, no one thinks i am dumb for realising so late. (take that anxiety. you were wrong.)

one friend kept awkwardly quiet. that might be a problem? usually he lives in his phone. we’ll see.

not that, but there is a potential for calling me pretentious, if i decided, to put the long version in my passport. :)

On the one hand, I feel it is my civic duty to get thigh-highs and that similar fabric to cover the the hands/arms, with a mini skirt and short top, taking a picture of my libreboot thinkpad with neofetch running. 😅

i never did and probably never will. that’s also why my code usually does not compile. i know.

i started in waves. everytime i went to a shop and searched for a fit i’d wear as everyday-fit. in part even for work. something i felt comfy in. that gave me a lot of basics (plain skirts, shirts in a more fem cut …), that i can then combine with more fancy stuff. some of my drag-fits are getting a second life that way. a bit toned down. ;)

🎉 that’s great! show thrm all!

lol. a friend of mine had one of his students (i know him too) run up to him in the institute, wearing a quasi-open shirt, pointing at his chest shouting: “look no boobs!”

the joys of being trans :)

good luck! :)))

i didn’t go on diy either (would’ve been faster… buuut something held me back).

but since my uncertainties and questions weren’t endocrinological in nature and they weren’t about wether i wanted hrt, i figured i’d need more expiriences from other trans people. (what you are doing here) i pretended binarity at first, just to avoid questions i’d better discuss somewhere else.

“lying to your doctors” to me and in the most general perspective and under ideal circumstances sounds like a bad idea. (someone else pointed at that too) but be honest about the dosage, side effects and genetic risks to your endo, not about your overthinking. ;)

good luck! :)