UPDATE: seems like i finaly found a therapist. at last. still i think there is a lot of sillyness. but that person seems very helpful. of course i am very much a fan of having a therapist during the next time. its just like priorities are tops-turvy.

tyvm <3

ty! i’m still a little naïve when it comes to diy, though. but yeah there are some push factors towards it. ;)

lol. i’ll bring a rusty pair of scissors to my next appointment? “wook, i’m not a cwewew endocwinowogiss wike you, but i got an idea how to weduce testostewwwone!”

yeah, i guess. in germany this concept is unfortunately widely unknown, and even if there are people who act accordingly health ensurance might not be willing to pay.

i don’t know. i can’t really handle all thes maybes: maybe i’ll find someone, who than maybe has time for me, who also maybe accepts my therapist and maybe my ensurance is in too. there is absolutely no process. or at least none i comprehend. all information i could get so far is hearsay from other trans people in town or information about my rights and how it should work from advocating/support groups who can’t treat me … that’s why i’d consider this also to be hearsay, as in practice all of that did not work.

plz have a nice whatever-time-of-day. i’ll try to sleep. <3

banning gay stuff on june 28? what could go wrong!

i have no strong opinions on names. most probably i’ll buy an -e and put it at the end. :)

i had a very unspecific depression over years (am in my 30s now). i had took some interrest in genderbending stuff, but never had the thought, positively, that i wanted to be a girl. i liked it that my beard didnt really grow until my late twenties. all that felling of being somewhat comfortable in my body faded, when i started to see more and more manlyness. i had the feeling that noone would ever find me beautiful again. after a few years i realised quite recently, that i’d rather be a girl. only since that moment of clarity i started to get very aware, and ‘actively’ dysphoric. still i consider this to be better than befor, when i had no sense of self and self worth. now i know. it’s not all just repression.

i had some lasersessions already, and when i looked at pictures of me from last summer i got the feeling i just didnt look at my face, esp. my beard. (i shave without a mirror since forever) but now, that i feel myself again, i can start to care. so this awareness that here and there are still hair is stressful, but i feel it to be the right train of thought.

wanted my parents to stop calling me and ask when i would visit them next time. but was too autistic to know how to tell them, that planning travels is hard work for my autistic ass.

i missclicked when sims 4 asked for the pronouns of my self insert. so i had to go with it.