For context, I’ve been on the fence about going on HRT.
During my therapy session today, I was talking about some of the fears I have about going on HRT. Up until now, I’ve been trying to ease myself into transitioning because I do have my doubts and I don’t want to rush into the wrong decision.
I’ve been “crossdressing” (what does one call this if they think they’re trans?) on and off for a while now, and I’ve been in therapy about dysphoria for a few months now, but HRT is still a big decision that I didn’t want to influence myself toward if I didn’t need it. I didn’t go by female pronouns, didn’t experiment with names, hesitated to call myself trans until I soul searched a bit more and knew. I think that’s partially due to fear of being ostracized by my family or affected by the horrible legislation attempting to go around in America right now, or really just rushing into something big like that in general.
Lately, I’ve been leaning toward wanting to go on HRT. I’ve been searching for clinics to freeze my sperm and I’ve found a couple of sources for HRT, just to have everything sorted if I decide to start transitioning. Today, when I was going over my fears with my therapist, I just blurted out
“Fuck, if I had gone on HRT when I was 18 then I would just be a woman by now. Dammit.”
Right after I said that, I realized exactly what I had said and what emotions I was actually expressing. I think it took me forever to admit it but I definitely want HRT. I want to be a woman. I’m scared still, in many ways, but I think this is the path for me and I want to embrace all the joys and struggles which come alongside transitioning. So that said, I’d like to ask any of you girls on HRT, what were some unexpected trials and happy moments during the process?
I turn 23 this December, and it would be amazing if I could start HRT before then. It’s doable, I have to hunt down some good sperm banks first because I still want biological kids someday. My main fear right now (and I do apologize to you non-American Lemmy users that are sick of hearing about this) is this damnable upcoming election. I don’t believe that team Trump will go down quietly if Harris wins, but it would ease my mind greatly if I knew I didn’t have to navigate my transition with a 2nd Trump administration breathing down my neck. How are you other American girls dealing with that? I’m almost at the point where I say fuck it all and live my life. So close…
but do I want to paint a target on myself?
Idk. Thanks for reading my thought spew, it helps to get it out in writing sometimes.
Congratulations, girly, and good luck on your journey!
I’m starting my transition at 47 (in the US). I really don’t care what others say or think, because I’ve lied to myself my entire life as an effeminate guy and it never felt good. Something finally snapped in me in the past few months, so I dumped the vast majority of my guy clothes, shaved everything except my hair and eyebrows, painted my nails, got some jewelry, and you know what? I’m finally in love with myself and it feels so right. How could I have not seen it sooner? The dysphoria is almost gone, and I’m waiting on my next appointment in September for HRT.
Don’t be like me and wait for so long that you regret it. Own it. Make it yours, because it sure as hell isn’t anyone else’s! <3
I feel like I’m already regretting waiting… But, I don’t know if I can take more than baby steps in coming out. I’m really happy you’re all in on being yourself! Hope your HRT appointment goes well!
I don’t think “crossdressing” is the correct term (tbh I think the entire concept is absurd but that’s aside from the point), a better term would either be experimentation or self-discovery. The goal is to find what makes you feel comfortable and if additional steps would be helpful. As for your last point I’m dealing with it by fleeing the county. I’m not saying you should as well but just in case things go bad you should have a backup plan.
Do you have any fleeing the country tips and tricks for beginners? Fully understand not discussing anything like that, but it is something I’d like to plan for but don’t know how. Thank you for the improved vocabulary, I come from a family that sees trans in a negative light, so I’m really just expanding my ability to describe my experiences in nonbiased ways.
Research what countries will let you in faster, if you have family elsewhere or ancestry in a country with right of return it helps.
I’ve been “crossdressing” (what does one call this if they think they’re trans?)
The terminology I’ve seen used is Real-Life Experience. It’s basically a trial period of presenting as your preferred gender to see if it feels more natural.
I don’t really have much advice except try to build an extensive support network, if you are able.
Crossdressing has become an outdated and thoroughly wrong term now. It would be called gender nonconforming if you’re dressing/acting in a way that the gender you identify as usually isn’t allowed to, or if you’re trans some people say ‘boy moding’ or ‘girl moding’ (as in mode).
Though some people use gender nonconforming to mean “not confirming to gender at all” which I think is beautiful, its more understood usage however, is what I previously stated.
It’s funny because boy-moding feels like the real “cross-dressing” to me now. I’m not sure wearing women’s clothes ever felt that way for me, though I felt a lot of fear about wearing skirts and dresses, I didn’t really feel like I was being deceptive or shameful the way I feel when I try to dress to pass as a man.
I recently started HRT in America, which took me 15 months to get. The first mistake I made was trying to get it through insurance, with them sending me the wrong info, offices that refused to set up an appointment and never called back, and doctors who retired before I could meet with them. That delayed things a year, when I finally went out of network with Planned Parenthood, and barely paid more than with insurance co-pays and parking fees.
The second issue I ran into was having my treatment put on hold for liver problems. I needed approval from my primary, but despite knowing the referrals take months, they demanded I go see a specialist. It didn’t matter that I showed research that said estradiol was a potential treatment for my issues or that they had no liability excuses to delay my care. At my 3 month follow-up, I managed to convince Planned Parenthood to approve my treatment, meaning my insurance did nothing but harm.
I live in one of the bluest states with fewer insurance issues than almost any other, yet this shit still fucked me. I’m not even lower class, yet that didn’t matter. Our healthcare system is that fucked. The saving grace is that we have somewhat affordable informed consent, but good luck if you have to deal with the insurance system. It’s less a trans healthcare issue and more of a problem with the whole system; rigged for the billionaires and hell for everyone else.
I think this depends on your providers and insurance. I’m also in the U.S., not in a blue state, and a vial of estradiol valerate for subq injections cost around $100 out of pocket and with insurance cost around $10.
I saw an endocrinologist that has other trans patients (there is basically only one in the city), and I just had to wait the 3 months before my first appointment. The next day after my endo appointment, I was able to pick up my vial, but I paid out of pocket for the first vial since insurance required pre-authorization to cover it and that hadn’t gone through yet (and I was desperate), but my next vial was covered by insurance.
The system immoral and rigged as you say, but your mileage may vary and each situation has to be evaluated in context.
