I’ve been on HRT for about 6 weeks now and I’m pretty sure I’m at female levels. Got a late start at 29 and I still strongly doubt that I’m even trans and should be doing this (seriously, my story is a weird one I think). I would quite welcome being cis because that would mean I don’t have to upend my life and essentially start over under 10x more difficult conditions. I considered myself agender for a long time and maybe I am.

Before HRT I considered myself very much vers. I do understand that severe bottom dysphoria is not needed to be trans, and I intended to do maintenance to retain my ability to top. Now that I’m actually into it, my feelings have changed.

I’ve read that a full erection once a day is needed to reliably retain full function, but that sounds quite unpleasant to me now? I just don’t want to do it, and I don’t really care if I never use my genitals to top again. I’m also finding myself more welcoming to the idea of SRS.

  • Is it due to the nature of HRT and changing sex drive? I mean, duh, estrogen
  • Is it due to repression breaking? Was I masking dysphoria before?
  • Is it because I have read and internalized that this is how I should feel, in some people’s opinion, and I am conforming to that?

I don’t think it’s really the last one - I also understand I have more sexual/dating prospects if I’m vers, and I think I kinda care about that more than some fringe viewpoints about validity

  • kluczyczka (she/her)@discuss.tchncs.deEnglish
    3·
    8 hours ago

    Especially when you see constant memes celebrating bottom surgery. I doubt that it would trick someone who would otherwise be actively against the idea into someone who thinks they want it, but it certainly can nudge feelings a little.

    yeah. also there is a societal pressure to be ‘unambiguous’ i.e. binary. so if it is possible, to have a certain surgery, it becomes an unspoken imperative. i myself try to very carefully navigate all these currents. i fear i wouldn’t find home otherwise. and it is ok to sit on a stone for seven years (or so) untill you find out what you really want and only then sail on.

    sure we’d love to accelerate this finding-out-process. but sometimes poseidon is gonna be poseidon. :/

    (this whole oddyssee thing is getting to far (off). i’ll stop rn.)