I have a friend who lives on the West coast of the US who refers to me as “buddy” a lot, and I don’t mention it, but it gives me the ick (she knew me pre-transition). I think she just uses it like a gender-neutral word for anyone (the way “dude” and “bro” ca be used sometimes), but I’m triggered, lol 😅
In public / with people who never knew me before transition, people will often refer to me and whoever I’m with (they’re usually women) as “ladies” (ironically my sister-in-law hates how often she is called “ladies” when she’s around me, lol).
On the phone or individually people often refer to me as “dear”. In the South, I got a lot more “sweetie”, “honey”, and even “sweet girl” and “good girl”.
What have your experiences been like (before, during, and after transition)?
I often get called “ladies” when I’m out with my wife and we’re doing women coded activities like shopping for makeup or clothes. Its nice. Most of my friends just call me my name, which I like. I picked a good name.
When I’m out alone I get they/them’d from strangers who try to be supportive, and it hurts a little. Not as much as on the phone when I usually get sir’d. I despise that word. That word sounds contemptuous to me under all circumstances.
Before transition… I try not to think about those times lol