I had bottom surgery almost a year ago and I regret it so much. I didn’t say anything up to now I kept getting told that feelings of doubt and uncertainty will get better as it heals, well it’s healed for over a month and it hasn’t gone away. It’s gotten worse! I feel like I’m broken, like part of me is missing. I wish I didn’t fucking do this shit. I miss my dick and balls so much.
Don’t tell me that I don’t regret it and that regret is rare. This isn’t the first time I spoke up. I said this shit on Reddit and the dipshits who run r/trans banned me telling me that regret is rare and that I probably don’t regret it, and that the chance of me being not trans is tiny. I explained to those dumb fucks that I 100% am trans, am a woman and that I miss my dick and balls and they got me suspended for 3 days and muted me.
I absolutely regret it and I absolutely am a woman. Some days (currently now) I think about killing myself because I know I’ll never be whole again. I just want to get in my car and drive off a gate bridge, and that would be it.
Your feelings are totally valid, my advice to you is to seek out a trans-friendly therapist and to work with them. It sounds more expensive than it is, and if it could save your life, it’s worth every penny.
I’m really really sorry you’re going through this, it sounds incredibly traumatic and difficult, and I really wish there was more advice I could give.
Try to hang in there, and I really really hope things improve for you.
I’ll look for one. I don’t know how much it’ll help but it’s worth a try I guess. Thank you.
I’m really glad to hear that, I really think it can help. In the meantime, if you ever need a sympathetic ear, to trauma dump or rant or anything, please feel free to reach out. I’m really sorry about the people invalidating you, that must be really horrible, but remember you are never alone, there are always people who care about you.