(vent not looking for advice)
for context I started seeing a psychologist last week. (I already was talking to a psychiatrist) he said “ooh you’re too young make these decisions, you might’ve manipulated when you were vulnerable” a few times during the session.
My BROTHER in christ, I’ve been suffering from gender dysphoria for nearly 4 years, it’s like someone telling someone “maybe you’re supposed to be underwater” whilst drowning. How many times do I need to say typical male identity 100% doesn’t fit me and I very well know effects of HRT. And now he wants me to write an short essay on what I went through when puberty began. What the hell do you want me to say, like “i wanna cut my penis off” or “i used to play with dolls when i was little”? after that he asked about my sexuality HOW DO HELL MY SEXUALITY RELATES TO MY GENDER IDENTITY, I especially hated it when he asked why I was trans after I told him I’m bisexual, hate how this type of cis people see gender. Felt like sisyphus trying to roll up the giant boulder while trying to explain how i think and feel.
wish I could see a queer psychologist
I’ll maybe give him another chance but I don’t think I’ll arrange another appointment.
I didn’t ask for a psychologist, my parents made me see one. I hate saying this but, I need someone for tricking my parents to get me hrt. There’s no way I can get my blood levels checked by myself.
Did your parents choose which psychologist to see? In general it’s advised to see a “gender-informed” therapist when dealing with gender dysphoria in therapy. Otherwise, you’ll have unhelpful (potentially traumatizing) experiences with ignorant therapists who don’t know anything about gender dysphoria.
If you have any control over the therapist, I suggest you use that to your advantage to find someone who could actually help you. (To be honest, therapy can’t treat gender dysphoria - but therapy can help you work up the courage and get the support you need to take the steps that have been shown to treat gender dysphoria, namely social and medical transition.)
This is really hard. I’m so sorry that you’re parents are not willing to believe you when you tell them what you need. The whole gatekeeper model of trans health care is broken to its core. Affirming care and informed consent are all we need, anything else is transphobia.
Here is a short study on how non affirming approaches to care are terrible for those being treated https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/26895269.2025.2609952
Idk if your folks would respond to this sort of study, but if they’re the kinds of libs that mine are, studies can be helpful to soften their approach. The science is on your side,whether anyone will listen is another matter ofc.
When I sought councilling at the beginning of my gender journey I looked explicitly for queer friendly and queer run orgs. Wishing you all the luck going forward.