So, I started estradiol enanthate about a week ago and while I realise I still have a tonne of testosterone in my body, the estrogen should be at a therapeutic level by now. I’m calm and haven’t been angry for days. I’ve started being productive (well more productive at least). So from the very earliest indicators, it seems to be going well (obviously I’ll know more in a few weeks). This, however raises a number of challenges.
Firstly how am I going to tackle the family stuff? I know my kids would be supportive (and my partner as much as she’s able), but my parents are pretty transphobic. There’s also my children’s classmates and their families. About half the kids in her class throw around racist slurs like it’s no big deal, so I’m certain they’d give her a hard time if I visibly transition. I don’t mind lumberjackmoding for a while, but I’m eventually going to look like a woman with a beard.
Secondly, what to do about documentation. I know I can’t change my gender on my passport (terf island), but as a foreigner I need to have it.
Third, there’s the actual nuts and bolts of transition such as voice training. I get frequent throat infections that leave me unable to say anything for months at a time. Not to mention my family is used to my voice and seems to like it. But again if I’m going to hot-mom-mode in the future, I’m going to need a feminine voice.
Fourth, what about my name? I haven’t put nearly as much thought into it as I perhaps should have. K know im not going to change it officially until my parents expire (they are not good people but they are old enough that starting conflict with them won’t help), but at some point I’m probably going to want to. So how do I pick? It seems weird to choose my own name. It’s not like I picked my ‘on life support name’.
Also what to actually do with the facial hair? It’s going to be largely necessary for groundskeeper-Willy-moding but I can’t shave because my hair is too curly and it causes horrific razor burn. So it’ll need to be IPL/ Lasered off but that would need to be sooner rather than later because I’m at that age where it’s going to go grey and at that point light based removal won’t work.
Suggestions?
As far as my healthcare provider, you’re talking to her. I’m keeping everything off the books because while my government is still somewhat stable, I don’t necessarily want to be listed as transgender officially. But, I’m definitely taking enough. I elected to do monotherapy because I don’t necessarily want a lot of the effects of blockers. I’m aiming for normal female testosterone levels not 0.
As far as my parents go they are both in their 70s and in not optimal health so I’m pretty sure they won’t be an issue much longer. I’m not worried about my kid getting picked on as much as I am worried about her getting in trouble for defending my honour with her fists.
Thanks for the voice feminisation link. I can actually do a convincing feminine acent, but I need to be a character when I do it. I’m not from Essex or Northern Ireland, or Glasgow so the character voices don’t seem like a realistic choice.
As far as shaving goes, I get the same problems as black folk because of my hair type. Its 3b and coarse as insect hair. Exfoliation and skincare will only do so much.
Basically the whole reason I’m taking estrogen is biochemical dysphoria, so while I’m ok with the physical changes and Indeed welcome a lot of them, I’m not blind to the difficulty they could pose to day to day life. it’s a lot to think about.