• PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk
      271·
      9 days ago

      The 80’s and 90’s were my formative years, so “my dudes” has taken on a gender-agnostic meaning in my view (anecdotal evidence alert), so much so that I address whoever I’ve got in my team for a given day:

      • A team full of guys? “Good morning my dudes”;

      • A team of mostly guys and some women? “Good morning my dudes”;

      • A team of mostly girls and one or two guys? “Good morning my dudes”;

      • A team full of girls? “Good morning my dudes” (maybe “dudettes” but then I feel I’m making an exception based on gender which seems demeaning, so dudes is safer);

      • A team of a guy, a girl, a rabbit in a hat, and a dog? “Good morning my dudes”;

      • A team full of Avril Lavignes? “hey hey you you I don’t like your girlfriend”;

      • A team full of people I don’t know because it’s dark? “Good morning my dudes”.

      I am a simple person.

      • riwo@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        141·
        9 days ago

        it’s interesting that you are using “guy” as “man”, because the next person is gonna say, that “you guys” is also gender neutral

        • PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk
          7·
          9 days ago

          I never even considered that. Learning one’s blind spots is always a benefit 😊

          I’m not even sure if “blindspot” could be construed as an ableist term.

        • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
          1·
          8 days ago

          I was so happy those years I lived in the us south. I earned my Y’all Card (I am now fully licensed to say Y’all) and it is pretty great

          • riwo@lemmy.blahaj.zone
            2·
            8 days ago

            damn
            i don’t live in the us, i just use y’all because its a useful language feature that honestly should be the default ;w;

  • Jessica@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    16·
    9 days ago

    The Dude would not abide people who intentionally try to make someone else’s day shit. Live and let’s bowl, I say.

    To be serious though, you are valid and deserve courtesy, understanding, and respect. I hate that people do that. Especially those around us.

  • Assassassin@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    11·
    8 days ago

    That’s why you gotta hit em with the “homie”, “home slice”, “big dawg”, “amigo”, “boss”, or “friendo”.

    • TheLadyAugust@lemmy.world
      4·
      8 days ago

      They might actually enjoy those. I found best effect by using something else that they might consider diminutive. Kiddo, sport, Buck, “little man”. If they get too upset, you can always pass it off as, “oh, sorry. That’s what I call my sibling/kid/nephew” etc. Which is the same bullshit reasoning they tend to give us “oh sorry, it’s just how you look though.”

    • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
      2·
      8 days ago

      Do I gotta kiss em on the lips? I’m not prepared for this level of homeslicing. I’m in too deep please advise.

        • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
          2·
          7 days ago

          i know homies kiss homies, but homies nibbling on homies necks has me worried about vampires and i’m like almost out of toum. i got like, maybe half a gallon left? that’s not enough.

  • ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.orgEnglish
    112·
    9 days ago

    What does this mean? The character looks very androgynous and could be either male or female, trans or cis. Is this referring to how gender-neutral-looking people get assumed to be male?

    • TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
      17·
      9 days ago

      They look fairly fem to me; at the very least not masculine enough to be consistently gendered male in good faith.

      • Soulg@ani.socialEnglish
        11·
        8 days ago

        I can see the fem but I would probably be unsure if I saw them irl without being able to tell from body shape/voice

    • moakley@lemmy.worldEnglish
      6·
      8 days ago

      That’s a custom character in Baldur’s Gate 3. Gender isn’t determined by appearance in the game, but this is definitely a base model used for female characters. If we could zoom out a bit, you’d see some extremely improbable breasts sticking out.

      Zoom out a little more and there are lots of options for what could be downstairs. But as far as I know the NPCs that use this base model are exclusively female. So as far as the meme is concerned, I believe it’s supposed to look outwardly like a woman.

  • SailorFuzz@lemmy.worldEnglish
    8·
    8 days ago

    This is why I just use “friend” to refer to everyone.

    All genders inclusive, respectful, friendly. Don’t have to try and figure anything out.

    “Hey, friend”,

    “Pardon, friend”,

    “Thanks, friend”,

    Simple

    • Focal@pawb.social
      1·
      7 days ago

      Is “Pal” also gender inclusive? I got this weird feeling that a pal is more of a little boy than a girl?

      • Wolfgang_1756@lemmy.world
        6·
        7 days ago

        Under the condition that the person has told you their gender (or the pronouns they want you to use for them): yes, then i am agreeing with you

        But if you don’t know a person: The gender is not always lining up with their apperance or the appearance can be (sometimes purposely) ambiguous

        • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
          2·
          7 days ago

          Absolutely agree. Unfortunately, too many people bend that second part into willful ignorance, refusing to ask, “forgetting”, or it just becoming the default for anybody not known to be cis, even if their gender is wildly obvious.

          I used to have a friend that worked in HR who would always call me them and they, even though I’d told him numerous times my pronouns are she/her, and he would always defensively come back that since he worked in HR it’s just how he operates, and then refused to ever refer to me as she or her.

          It’s dehumanizing and transphobic and we see right through the bullshit. It’s super obvious and you aren’t being clever.

          People: if you don’t know, just ask. If you refuse or neglect to ask and keep doing this after more than just the first meeting somebody, you’re very likely a piece of shit. Don’t lean on this. Too many people here are defensively leaning on this.

      • SailorFuzz@lemmy.worldEnglish
        1·
        7 days ago

        this is giving: “if you’re not also a mind-reader, you’re transphobic”…

  • cybernihongo@reddthat.com
    6·
    8 days ago

    A few of these remind me of their usage in customer support, and boy I hate them already before getting into the actual transmeme.

  • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    41·
    7 days ago

    Itt: everyone doing everything except using the right pronouns

  • ThirdConsul@lemmy.zip
    1·
    8 days ago

    I’ve noticed this on my main page and am here to get educated: what is the meme about?

    I’m assuming the meme is about her being male presenting and hit with male pronouns from strangers who assume the gender visually, while the OP would prefer to be addressed by female pronouns (I’m not sure how said strangers should know that though, but that’s not the meme point)?

    Or is it a meme about being stuck in the process and however she tries she’s still male presenting for reasons unknown to her?

    • TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
      7·
      8 days ago

      It’s often less about how one actually presents and more about people who know you refusing to change how they refer to you. People who knew you before often don’t change how they think of you until forced to reconcile with it. Until they see AND accept that you’re incontrovertibly feminine, they’ll keep calling you sir even if most new people who meet you call you ma’am.

      • ThirdConsul@lemmy.zip
        1·
        8 days ago

        Thanks, appreciate it.

        It could be cognitive bias (because of the words around it), but the girl on the screenshot does look a bit manly to me (but it also can be lighting, angle, makeup, hair, scales and horns; after all those are the tools of drag and I’m not an expert at gendering peeps. Fortunately my native language has gendered names, verbs and nouns so misgendering someone after their first sentence is gramatically improbable)