See title. How do I even cope with never being able to get pregnant? I mourn the fact that I never even once had the opportunity to get pregnant, to feel life in me developing, and all that. Of all things, this gives me the greatest dysphoria. I want to have wider hips and larger boobs, and even though I’m 28 (so hip widening likely won’t happen… maybe surgery?) and I’m 7 months on HRT, I feel like it’s not satisfactory yet. It has made me so much happier and I feel much more liberated having HRT, but even before I knew trans was a thing, even early on, I still had the desire to eventually be able to get pregnant.

I don’t care that it’s a lot of morning sickness, feeling miserable and extremely tired, heavy, and all that - I experienced long illness before. But having someone at the end of it, feeling the baby kick… I heavily miss that I cannot experience that. I’m happy for those who can, but I wish I could, and I want to actively fight for it. Even if I die or suffer horribly, then at least I will have contributed to further understanding so that people may one time experience it.

To that child whom I will likely not have the luck of carrying – may life find you when it calls you. I love you with all my heart and I wish I were able to see you. If I ever do succeed in that, then I swear solemnly to thank the world for its bounty and gifts; and regardless I will support all who struggle through life.

  • Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.worldEnglish
    51·
    2 days ago

    Well I got over it by watching my partner give birth to a 4.6 kg baby. The anaesthesiologist managed to nick her spinal artery with the epidural and she lost about half a pint of blood while being in active labour she managed to get the baby out in a couple of hours largely without pain relief because the epidural didn’t find it’s mark. She did great, but it was very traumatic for everyone involved.

    Edit: also I have plenty of children. I really don’t need more 😂

    • birdwing@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
      9·
      2 days ago

      Missing quite the point of the entire post, which is that I want to experience it. I already told I know of the risks.

      But hey, thanks for invalidating!

      • Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.worldEnglish
        4·
        2 days ago

        No I get it. I would have happily birthed them. But you know with 3d bioprinting it may be possible at some point in the future. I’m already passed the point where I would consider getting pregnant if I were a cis woman. But if you’re 28 you’ve got at least 10 years. Cis women have gotten pregnant using transplanted uteruses.

        Here you go

        I also came across a video of a research group that was bioprinting ovaries.

        I’m not saying that they will be doing human trials any time soon, but there is a slim possibility.

        • birdwing@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
          5·
          2 days ago

          Me too. I’m sorry for lashing out but yeah.

          Yep, the uterus transplants are giving me hope. And also the bioprinting – though whether that will work with the complex tissues like uterine lining and so on, I’m unsure. But still!