I probably won’t answer many comments. I’m also not gonna make what I say sound more pretty… Sorry.
I’ve seen the memes like “trans people have a hell beam that came with HRT” come up more and more often. We do. It’s called pepper spray. Please learn from my mistakes and get one before you regret not having one. Carry it with you daily, in a pocket where it is easy to reach, ideally with your dominant hand. It’s not a problem for us tomboy- ish cargo pants lovers, but if you are cursed with female pockets, get one you can clip into a pocket or your waistband. If you tuck your shirt in too then consider buying a pepper gun like a guardian angel that you can carry inside the waistband. And I can’t stress this enough, you won’t be able to find your pepper spray fast enough if you just throw it into a purse.
Regardless if it’s someone getting really aggravated at you being trans or if someone starts to masturbate while looking at you on public transport and following you through the train when you get up and leave, regardless if you use it or not. Even just having it as a backup is extremely important.
I didn’t bring those examples up for nothing, both things, and even worse, happen (happened to me, friends and family too, trans and cis) and we are just as vulnerable - if not more - than most other people. The only way we can protect ourselves against a guy twice our strength and weight is by playing unfair. If you need to, use pepper spray. If they have you restrained, bite, poke in their eyes, and the first chance you have, run. Speaking of which, learn how to run fast for a short period of time. If you already do running from time and time again, do a sprint at the end of your session.
If you want to learn actually stuff about self defense, I personally can recommend getting some Krav Maga courses. It’s a fighting technique that focuses on getting the fuck out of a situation. I sadly don’t have the money for it anymore but I will pick it back up.
This world can be cruel and that comes from someone who lives in one of the safest areas in the world. The point of all of this isn’t to make you scared of everyone and everything. I’m saying this because I want you to be able to stand tall and proud despite everything because if worst comes to worst, you know how to fend for yourself.
If you have any more useful information on self defense, please comment them.
Stay safe out there <3
honestly a lot of us are autistic and don’t read the room well - I think developing social and situational awareness is an important part of avoiding situations that escalate into violence.
And also, no matter what you do, you can’t always avoid or mitigate harm - if you are a victim, don’t obsess about how it’s your fault because you didn’t learn Krav Maga, or didn’t read the situation well, or didn’t have pepper spray, or if you froze in the moment, etc. - the reality is that you are the victim, whatever you could have done better is irrelevant, the responsibility falls entirely on the aggressor.
And I don’t recommend buying a handgun unless you have a huge amount of money and time to go to the range once a week and train for hours, have the money to pay for that range and the ammunition, and even then, the evidence we have is that having a gun increases the likelihood you are killed in an altercation (and in a trans population guns are a double liability because of suicide risk).
The “gun” i mentioned is a pepper gun. It is a small plastic gun-like thing in the price range of 30-50€ and shoots pepper like a pepper spray
Edit: where I’m from, carrying an actual gun is pretty much illegal for regular civilians
sorry, I should clarify that I never thought you were recommending getting a gun - I only added that as a separate, additional thought 😅 I understood you were only recommending pepper spray - which is not the worst idea (esp. if you practice enough, and train under stress, so in the moment it matters you don’t end up getting it on yourself, which can be disabling and life-threatening if it allows someone to take advantage of you).
Pepper spray is also helpful for fending off dog attacks, so it’s a good idea for more than just humans.
And where I live, “everyone” practically owns a gun and both deaths from guns and the homicide rate are both very high.
Many here seem to be talking about self defence tools and training. However, we think it’s equally as important to train in deescalation, active bystander and confidence training. Sure, sometimes it may come to needing some physical way of defending one’s or many’s self or selves, but if the situation can be deescalated before that happens it’s even better as there’s no guarantee a fight can be won or someone or somemany will be able to get away for various reasons.
Krav Maga +1, it’s very useful!
I’m sorry you have to deal with such things for no reason. 😔
I hadn’t heard about the pepper gun before, and that looks like a great idea to have something you can carry and use in a consistent manner every day. As you said, finding something in your bag is difficult or pulling something smaller out of a pocket which may be facing any which direction, including at yourself, and it will be even trickier in the heat of the moment.
I’ve always heard you should buy at least one extra so you can test it and familiarize yourself with it. Different brands and designs spray different distances, and in different patterns and will be affected by wind differently, especially considering sprays vs gels. It would probably also be wise to learn how to treat yourself in case you receive any blowback from it or catch a friend or bystander.
I heard recently on a podcast about protests that different sprays and contact lenses can be a serious danger, and they advised to wear glasses if they think you may be exposed, so that may be another thing to consider if you’re choosing pepper spray as your defensive tool.
As always, do your own research and determine what you feel comfortable with, you want something you know you can count on to work and that you will be able to use safely should the need arise!
Stay safe and be proud of yourself for who you are. You aren’t responsible for other people’s behavior, just be mindful of your surroundings and trust your instincts if you feel a situation is bad. ❤️
