[Requesting engagement from trans-feminine people on HRT]
I don’t yet know when I will begin hormone replacement therapy, but the anticipation leaves me prone to developing expectations I worry are unrealistic.
Not sure how best to explain. My emotions, and sometimes my expression of those emotions, will feel masculine when heightened. Feeling intensely happy or angry about something even unrelated to my identity, those feelings give me dysphoria because of how masculine they seem. It’s not that being happy or angry is inherently masculine, of course. The dysphoria comes from the emotion’s manifestation seeming masculine.
I don’t know if this makes sense, but has anyone experienced something similar and/or seen changes to these sorts of things?
FWIW some people do report their anger and “competitive spirit” becomes less intense after going on HRT for a while. As well as other emotions becoming more intense and more “vibrant.”
From my own experience, I definitely feel a bit more chill. I don’t get aggravated as quickly, and when I do, it doesn’t feel as intense or “hot” as it used to. This could be more that I don’t have as big a hypothetical thorn in my side anymore from alleviating a bit of my dysphoria however. I do cry more easily now, and it feels a bit different when my emotions boil over to that point. It’s more… even? Like the feelings are wider and more gradual or gentle instead of narrow and pointed and intense. Kind of an abstract way to put it I guess but that’s how I visualize them.