So I recently realised something: Theres a timespan of about 4.5 years, where I seriously have almost no memories of. I remember quite a lot of my life up to the 5th grade. However since between the 6th and maybe middle of 10th grade are mostly lost. I know stuff, that happened in this time, but its not nearly as much as before/after that time. One thing that might play into this, that I experienced quite a lot of bullying that just got worse as time went on. This was until the Corona lockdowns started while I was in 8th grade. While the lockdown might have saved my life it did not mean, that I worked through what the bullying caused to me. That did not start to happen until 1.5 years later.

I start to remember what was happening in my life until mid of 10th grade (so when I was 16), coincidentally thats also the time at which I started to get quite a lot intersted in women (and not in a sexual way, even though I thought it was) and started to do all the kind of exploring an egg does while being miles away from hatching.