Judging by your posts you are in a very bad place right now and you’re struggling with a lot of issues related to your self image and your body. I’m not so sure that HRT will do what you want it to do. If your hormone levels are fine then your fat distribution isn’t likely to become any more feminine. If there is something wrong with your levels, it will be because of some underlying issue, in which case HRT could even make things worse.

As a cis woman in the UK, you have access to HRT via a GP, which would enable you to get proper specialist support that isn’t readily available to us, and everything (other than your prescription) would be completely free. Superdrug & Boots also provide affordable private assessment & support for hormone issues that are exclusive to cisgender women. Handling this via a GP is something I really recommend. If you are unable to get an appointment in the morning, try calling anyway as they occasionally have cancellations available later on. If all else fails, 111 can make an Out of Hours appointment, either with your GP or with a OOH doctor, or they can refer you to mental health services for immediate support.

Places like GenderGP are aimed at trans people who are currently unable to use regularly accessible services, and are significantly more expensive & less reputable as a result. They are also overburdened, with waiting times that significantly exceed a GP.

If you do wish to take hormones DIY, I urge you to take things a bit slower and read up on how to do this safely. Research what HRT actually does and why, and be aware that we take regular blood tests to make sure our levels are okay. If possible, try to find resources specific to cisgender women, as they would be able to provide more guidance in ways that we’re unable to.

I wish you the very best, and I hope you’re able to get the support you need.