I just read this article about beauty standards and while I see the excess of it as harmful I can’t help but feel hypocritical when I think about laser or hormones or even putting on eye shadow and mascara, not to mention FFS.
Every time I read a piece on self-acceptance and body-positivity I stop and ask myself - why can’t I be happy with my body? For me the dysphoria is mostly social but even then - why can’t I just accept my AGAB and live with it? How is changing my body to fit opposing gender norms (so I pass etc) different to gender-affirming procedures for one’s AGAB?
Both require the same underlying systems - and my face laser wouldn’t be attainable without the massive beauty industry making it affordable by virtue of many cis women using the service.
Similar with hormones. If most postmenopausal women didn’t get E prescribed, then it would be prohibitaly expensive (I guess this is a weaker point since hormones are beneficial for health reasons not just beauty) but still my use case is mostly aesthetical (to pass) so that feels even less justified.
It feels as if my transition is only possible because it’s either subsidised by an industry I see as harmful or via methods not intended for their initial purpose.
Anyone else struggle with any of this?
For the most part I think the aim is different at it’s core. Beauty standards are a bit whimsical and enforced from without. You are rewarded by society for conforming to these standards which feeds back into the desire. It’s similar but Gender Euphoria and Dysphoria come from within. Some of the things it acts on aren’t beauty standards and the rewards from without are often a mixed bag of good and bad because society doesn’t reward your specific goals.
The reward is feeling like yourself. Feeling seen and not having people comment on your appearance with gendered pronouns that make you feel weird or bad. If you are ugly society usually doesn’t comment on it directly to your face because that is seen as harmful or rude. But being trans people comment about your body every bloody day without knowing it : when they call you he/she/ma’am/sir. Each time is a reminder of the part of your physical experience of life reflecting you in a mirror of words that are never value neutral to you only to the person speaking unless otherwise told.
Would body positivity be possible at all if the commentary on everyone’s most vulnerable physical features were offered half so often as they are for us?