Horrible.
Whoever raised his kid is doing it right.
well fuck… i’m not gonna sleep tonight.
Brb making a char sheet of this for my bestiary
I would homebrew this as the result of a failed attempt to create a Dracolich/Drow combo. Find it restrained in a dungeon “lab”, long abandoned, but still alive because it’s undead.
That creature looks uncomfortable. Also, it’s been a while since I did anything D&D — aren’t those stats buffed a whole lot?
A Google search (ai response, so take it with a grain of salt) suggested a 5 person party could take a dragon with 136 hp and 18 a at levels 8-9 comfortably. 7-8 would be hard, 5-6 would be very difficult but possible. Depends on the DM too.
Note I don’t play much 5e, and my experience in TTRPGs outside a few single session stuff is mostly one Pathfinder 2e campaign currently at level 6.
It sorta looks like somebody kitbashed a new mini and had to invent a stat block for it.
Lovecraft: “Write that down, write that down!”
Kid knows what they’re doing.
Jesus fuck
Thanks, I hate it
There’s too many of these “that happened” posts featuring a child playing a tabletop. They would just be unfunny nonsense if it weren’t framed as something a child actually said.
I get the sentiment generally, but that’s exactly how my five year old nephew talks (if I were to edit for brevity, which I appreciate in the relaying of anecdotes about five year olds, lol)
In what way is it unfunny nonsense? Seems like a legit monster to me.
Well, if it sounds like a legit monster, the fact that a 5yo said it wouldn’t be relevant, and without it being absurd the post kinda loses all substance. It is held up by the implication that this odd exchange actually happened, which it didn’t.
“Imagine if there was a spider dragon with a breath attack of breathing thousands of tiny spiders” just doesn’t have the same hook as this exposition.
Huh? You said it would be unfunny nonsense if it wasn’t a child that said it. I’m saying the child has nothing to do with it, it’s a cool monster anyway, it isn’t nonsense.
Now you’re saying that it’s not about being unfunny or nonsense, it’s that it doesn’t “have the same hook”. Which is it? Is it nonsense? Or do you just not like the method of delivery?
Have you actually played a ttrpg? Or really heard any jokes at all? The way a line is delivered matters. Saying “i beat the goblin” is completely different than saying “i sliced through the goblin, cutting it in half, its body flying through the air where i punt it between the masts of the sailboat like a field goal”. They might be the same exact outcome, the same exact scenario, but the delivery makes one more fun than the other.
The spider dragon sounds like a dope-ass monster to fight, and the kid sounds like an awesome GM. You can have the cool monster with your GM. The delivery here allows you to imagine the fun you can have.
Put it another way: ‘“imagine there was a small short green goblin that fights” just doesn’t have the same hook as this expression’. No shit sherlock.
Hebegeebees, +7
That would actually make someone in my table pass out, not even joking
Spider dragonborn or dragon spiderborn?
See, when a spider and a dragon love each other very very much…
That’s what the old half-dragon template was for.
5 years old and already an understudy of Satan!
This is awesome!
Spider Dragonborn Sorcerer; It’s Spider-Man but with Fireball.
