I posted this in the wrong meme community. Reposting here.

I’m AMAB who has always felt a little uncomfortable in my own skin. I’m decently comfortable occupying my body, but I do wish it was easier/more acceptable to transition. I had a dream last night that I was at a doctor’s office and I was starting HRT. It has put me in a funk all day.

To be honest, I consider myself fluid enough to continue identifying as a man to anyone but myself. I just wish I could live two lives. Or go back and make the decision to transition when I was younger. I am a stereotypical guy: hairier than not, chubbier than not, deep brow, gnarled hands, etc. I don’t really think I could ever feel truly “woman enough” to feel comfortable trying out the other side of the gender spectrum. I’ve tried growing my hair, piercing my ears, and wearing a teeny bit of eye liner, but it just never looked right on me. I just looked a bit weird.

I’m venting here to hopefully deal with the funky vibes my dream gave me. I’ve never been this open with any audience: virtual or physical. So, apologies if this is coming off a bit transphobic in any way.

  • Frozzie@lemmy.worldEnglish
    11·
    3 days ago

    I too felt guilty for not realising and transitioning sooner, but my life would have been so different. I’m happy about my past, the people I met, the love I had, the trips I did, the experiences I had, and I don’t want to change that. I also believe it would have been really hard to transition while I was in high school, living with my parents. People back then didn’t know what the word ‘transgender’ meant. People transition at all ages, and they all eventually look so beautiful and happy. I think I did it at the right time. Don’t pressure yourself with the past. Focus on the present.

    • Captain Janeway@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      2·
      2 days ago

      For now I’m considering growing my hair out again. Maybe it’ll look better this time around. Whilst high school would have been brutal for me, I still wish I could have put the brakes on puberty. It’s impossible to go back and it’s hard to imagine I’d ever have had the courage. But it also just seems like the only way to halt the manly characteristics I’ve gained.