🔍🦘🛎

Ok Mr. Sandman doesn’t really fit though without changing the wording.

Mr. Vulva, bring me a queef

My party fought a purple worm recently. It devoured the cleric. Then the sorcerer used polymorph on it to turn it into a frog, which caused the cleric to get squeezed out of it like toothpaste in a tube and shot out of it and collided with the cavern ceiling, taking ‘fall’ damage. Then the cleric used divine intervention (successfully)… as a divine avatar they swooped down and crushed the frog between their hands, releasing a tidal wave of venemous worm viscera to wash over everyone causing them to take massive poison damage. Great fun :D

In terms of your plan, drilling a hole in the rod may cause it to lose function. Also a general rule about polymorph is that there needs to be room for the transformation, and a general rule for invalid creature placement is that creatures take a small amount of force damage and are moved to the closest available space. As your DM I’d probably say you couldn’t end polymorph early while it’s in the rod, and if you lost concentration or the duration expired, it would be shunted next to the rod and take 2d10 force damage.

Actually what I’d like to do is have the worm trapped in the rod, make you believe it died, and the next time you used it the worm would appear.

You have to do it many times to weigh the average

This was the DM when I intentionally nestled myself inside the shambling mound

A human beastmaster whose spellcasting focus was a tiny awakened shrub (which was slightly on fire) and had a flying snake pet.

He was a Pokemon trainer. “Cindertwig, use your Thorn Whip! Now, Create Bonfire!” “Flython, do a Poison Fang attack!”

We only had one very short combat for the 1 shot.

ohnoheshot.webp

Expertise doubles proficiency bonus, so it can’t be odd–so the +9 is both proficiency bonus (x2) and ability modifier. Since bardic inspiration is a d10 here, the characters are level 10-15, so PB is +4 or +5. It seems OP’s character only as a +1 charisma mod. Or, less likely, the character is lower level with a +3 PB and a +3 CHA mod grouping with a higher-level bard.

Pomme de Terra

Ratfolk: somehow worse than both rats and humans at everything

Healthcare is in high demand, and the work environment in two hospitals can be night and day. There were times that I felt completely defeated and felt that no matter what I did, I could never succeed. It took me having to leave my dream city and move back home before I really got my career started.

The world is filled with people willing to throw you under the bus, but it’s also filled with wonderful, supportive people.

Take a moment to recoup. You’ll bounce back.

That’d be 5e’s History and Arcana, respecitvely.
I’ve gone back and forth on the way 5e does it. Making it simple is nice for newer players (fewer choices, those picks are broader). I still prefer 3.5’s big granular list. Not sure how Pathfinder compares.

In 5e, a religion check isn’t to see how well you commune with your God. It’s how well you know any given god’s traits, domain, followers, plane, etc.

Uber religious knockoffs of other popular games with a reverence for dragons and a prevailing theme of self-loathing

Palworld then

If you can take your time? No check.

If the ground is coated in oil and a kobold is about to throw a torch down from a higher level, and the cocky wizard is now struggling for his life, a moment that is vividly remembered three years later: absolutely make a check

Me the experienced player as a sorcerer that doesn’t actually know a troll’s weaknesses: Hmm, I’m not going to cast Burning Hands because there’s only one monster, so I’ll cast Hold Person instead! You can thank me later, party :D :D

They could learn fireball a few different ways, but definitely not a typical bard thing.

Honestly, ‘alive’ is doing better than I would have guessed