This is why I only talk to my cats like adult humans.
One is a lawyer and the other an investment banker.
It’s important to not coddle them.
Your cats are lawyers too?! My 3 boys just made partner at “Cat Butt, Cat Butt & Tail”
Junior partner at Princess, Fuzzbutt, and Chonks
I talk to my cat as if I’m summoning a demon. I’m sure the old lady next door is concerned.
Neth’Sin the Eternal Tormentor can only actually torment you by pissing off the side of the cat box, or a protest turd by the toilet.
In that case i hope youre not giving them free room and board.
Sometimes it feels like it’s their house and I’m just living there, but I earn my keep by providing meals.
Mr. Pickles the vase was found on the floor in pieces by the lady of the house.
You were witnessed on the mantle shortly after the incident.
What is your defense?Meow?
That’s convenient. It seems to be an odd coincidence indeed. And yet we have a long list of witnesses of your blatant disregard for elevated objects.
I myself witnessed you dislodge a flower pot last week. Can you explain that as coincidence?Mrow.
No. No you can’t. With all these repeat offenses how are we supposed to judge you?
Meow.
Yes I see. That’s right. You are indeed a cat. We don’t judge you. You judge us.
I did this recently when I walked past someone’s garden and their pet sheep came over to see me. I was happily chatting away to the sheep about how much it had been munching away and how hot it must be with all that wool when a very confused postman I had not noticed responded
Also, here is said sheep
Who tf has a pet sheep?
Hey everyone, check out this guy who doesn’t even have a pet sheep.
who doesn’t even have a pet sheep.
“You can’t say everyone has a pet sheep, when everyone does not have a pet sheep. We’re going to get nasty letters saying ‘Where’s my pet sheep? Why don’t I have a pet sheep?’”
Why would that be, I wonder…?
Farmers, I assume. It was a small village with a lot of farms
Here in the states at least, it can get you an agriculture tax break. Lots of people will have pet goats, sheep, donkeys etc…
Does it deliver your mail, though?
DM: “You rolled a natural 1 on your charisma check. What is your response to your neighbor’s question?”
Player: “I was searching for my pussy!”
i hope whoever that 40 year old man is - wherever he is - is having a good day <3
You made that guy’s day jsyk
I talk sweet to my cats too! The words aren’t because it’s endlessly self amusing to insult them without their knowing. Haven’t been caught by a stranger yet.
That’s hilarious
Uncle Monty meme
Damn. So this woman can’t take a joke whatsoever then? Explains the cat at least.
