There are a lot of people here saying they’re both, for me it’s a firm type two. Even in retrospect I can’t find any signs, because I can barely remember anything about my childhood in more than the broadest strokes.
My first “sign” I can remember was someone pointing me to r/egg_irl, and I’m still not sure if that was because I showed proper signs or just because I didn’t understand that guys can be bottoms too at that point. And for some reason, because of that, I’m still scared that I am somehow faking it to myself, because I saw an identity that partially matched and then adapted the rest, as I pretty much grew up in online transfem spaces and my dysphoria was never that extreme, almost always just a nagging at the back of my head. But it’s been over eight years at this point, so you know, it’s part of me either way at this point, and I doubt I could talk myself into something that lasts this long. Still sometimes a bit afraid of faking things though.
Here’s the thing though: Assuming I adapted to the people around me, as I misinterpreted some things and built an identity around something that wasn’t quite right, losing that because it turns out I was “faking it”, would make me sad.
There are other pointers in that direction, like how when I feel subby, is when I most desire feeling fem, implying an internal connection between bottoming and femininity. But of course that an also simply be wanting to be cute, which is totally normal.
There’s many explanations both ways for things, so I always end up uncertain.
There are a lot of people here saying they’re both, for me it’s a firm type two. Even in retrospect I can’t find any signs, because I can barely remember anything about my childhood in more than the broadest strokes.
My first “sign” I can remember was someone pointing me to r/egg_irl, and I’m still not sure if that was because I showed proper signs or just because I didn’t understand that guys can be bottoms too at that point. And for some reason, because of that, I’m still scared that I am somehow faking it to myself, because I saw an identity that partially matched and then adapted the rest, as I pretty much grew up in online transfem spaces and my dysphoria was never that extreme, almost always just a nagging at the back of my head. But it’s been over eight years at this point, so you know, it’s part of me either way at this point, and I doubt I could talk myself into something that lasts this long. Still sometimes a bit afraid of faking things though.
I mean, would you be sad if you were actually faking it?
Here’s the thing though: Assuming I adapted to the people around me, as I misinterpreted some things and built an identity around something that wasn’t quite right, losing that because it turns out I was “faking it”, would make me sad.
There are other pointers in that direction, like how when I feel subby, is when I most desire feeling fem, implying an internal connection between bottoming and femininity. But of course that an also simply be wanting to be cute, which is totally normal.
There’s many explanations both ways for things, so I always end up uncertain.
Would you be happier as a man or anything else?