I think there’s a gulf between
- “I feel like I’m trapped in the wrong body and I want to change that”
And
- “I feel like a second class citizen living in an oppressive patriarchy, and I would happily discard my current gender if it gave me more wealth and status”
Definitely possible to feel both. But the latter is a very TERFy expression of gender exclusion, while the former is a product of personal introspection.
I might even go so far as to categorize the second kind of person as gender fluid.
Very interesting, I haven’t really been very introspective about my own feelings about gender and considered the possibility of being agender. I’m very supportive of our trans friends because I know how much it means to them and the mental, emotional, and physical damage that is done to them when they are not allowed to transition safely. But I will admit I definitely don’t get it. I can’t imagine feeling so strongly about my gender I’d want to change it or be upset if I was misgendered, but I fit so well into the mold society has for me that I’ve never really been challenged about it. Maybe I would feel differently if I was more androgynous or had a mix of typically feminine and masculine interests…
I agree with the author that I think we’ll never really know. Partly because everything exists on a spectrum so drawing a line between cisgener and agender will be inherently arbitrary and difficult. But mostly because social constructs (for good evolutionary reason) can embed themselves so deeply that it’s impossible to tell if you truly feel a way or if you are trained to behave in a way.
But I will admit I definitely don’t get it. I can’t imagine feeling so strongly about my gender I’d want to change it or be upset if I was misgendered
That’s quite normal for cis people. First of all it is quite difficult trying to explain what “being trans” feels like and since cis people usually have no experience that goes into the same direction as the ones of trans people (I would start to doubt if someone was cis if they could relate to our experiences) its almost impossible to truly understand us. However, you dont always have to understand something to acknowledge that people have different experiences and therefore different needs.
I wish quite a lot more people would have a similar mindset to yours.
My mom. Every time she tries to be transphobic, she can’t help saying something like “I want to take T” or “I’d want to transition the other way” or complaining about things like women’s fat distribution and ends up accidentally being more affirming than she’d be if she was trying to be artificially supportive. Also, I’m not exaggerating those quotes for comedic effect.
god, this is so real
