Um excuse me yes hello this one is freakishly large, yes? This is an extreme outlier, yes? Your average proper kiwi bird who complies with the right order of things can fit into two large human hands, yes? Their beaks aren’t usually the size of an average sword, yes?
I’m having a moment.
Kiwi, on average stand 1.5-2 feet tall and weigh around 3-8lbs depending on their size and sex. Roughly about the size of a chicken. This one is average sized.
Your average proper kiwi bird who complies with the right order of things can fit into two large human hands, yes?
Yes, of course. You just need to have your hands further apart than you might think.
I always thought they were so much smaller than this.
Well, the ones we get in the store are typically a lot younger and have had their head and legs removed already…
Well sure, we just don’t like to point out that they’re really basically kiwi baby eggs. It’s distasteful.
Yeah, that’s not very typical. I’d like to make that point.
Kiwi bird in New Zealand? Chance in a million.
Well, there are a lot of these kiwis going around New Zealand all the time, and very seldom does anything like this happen. I just don’t want people thinking that sawmill workers aren’t safe.
Hold up
