zea

🫂

I’ve reframed it as a spectrum rather than a binary so I don’t have to think about it.

More cute girl pics for me to gawk at??

blahaj/10

I think you need to come out to those people. It’s scary, and in the immediate-term very bad, but after that… you get recognition. Not being recognized as yourself suuuuucks.

Curiosity is an important part of alliance building

Amazing quote.

I’m barely alive and my parents are fine, if they were abusive I’d be long dead. I’m sure the legislators are very sad I survived.

I wish child abuse/neglect was illegal.

Yes, I even had a pros/cons list in my head that was heavily weighted in favor of doing it, but I was uncertain and scared. Finally, I convinced myself that it’s extremely easy to undo should I want to, making the only risk possibly wasting my time. My one regret after starting is not doing it sooner.

The certainty only came after I made that scary decision. The tipping point was just “YOLO”. And even after, it’s still not 100%, merely 99.9%. I’m open to changing my mind, I just don’t think that’s likely now.

I feel more confident to perform my emotions more femininely, and I feel more confident/happier in general, but I don’t think any of that is a direct result of hormones. 3 months btw.

Honestly, that’s probably the least bad thing he could do with this data…

I’ve personally been wearing baggy clothing or the dysphoria hoodie to hide my body shape. You can also wear a mask and pretend it’s for COVID reasons to hide your face.

I’ve seen the pictures you’re posted and you look beautiful, but if you need to do something to change/hide your appearance for your sake then do it! I want the best for you <3

Is that stage 5, 6, or 7 of genocide?

Well I got sleep!

Poor sleep, stress, poor mood. Hopefully I get fully rested tonight. And hopefully I van talk to at least one friend in person this week.

My invisibility potion wore off!

I love this analogy, because you literally have a birthday and forgot about it lol.

Like a child complaining there’s no children’s day…

Please don’t hate yourself, see a therapist. I promise you your mind and attitude are more malleable than you think!

It seems you expect too much of yourself. Therapy can help get you out of these negative spirals by developing techniques to regulate your mind. While it’s hard, I think it’s a more reliable solution than hoping you’ll eventually look good enough for your standards.

Something that helped me with my mind was realizing I am not a rational being and I do not control my thoughts. That voice in the back of my head criticizing me feels so real, but it’s not some objective judge, it’s actually incredibly biased and changes its mind based on my mood. If I can block out that voice, eventually it starts piping up less and less, and if it does pipe up again I know I can do something like play nice music to distract it. And sometimes it gets to me anyway, but I try to learn what triggered it and think of how I can mitigate that going forward.

But also, see a therapist if you can, and be honest with them. They can really speed up the process of finding problems and coming up with mitigation strategies.