Dex would be super important for them too. Cannons of all flavors aim with dex due to being ranged weapons.

I have issue with almost all of your points.

• Dex & wisdom would be the important stats for sailors IMO (i am not saying strength and con are useless, but just not as important, they would be 3rd and 4th IMO).
• Darkvision wouldn’t do a damn thing, its range would barely get off the side of the boat.
• Poison resistance is not disease resistance.
• Some spoiled food would be poison, but some would also be disease (depends on how it spoiled and the food).
• In order for short stature to be relevant to ship design, they would need a completely custom designed ship tailor made for them, which would have benifits but sounds unlikely for what pirates would be sailing. (That being said, a dwarven merchant ship designed speciifcally for their stature would be a massive pain for normal height characters to battle on)
• lower speed means they swim slower too which means going overboard is even worse.

EDIT: dwarven submarines!

• short stature actually hugely relevant as submarines are notoriously cramped
• darkvision means no need for lights in the sub, beneficial for multiple (admittedly somewhat minor) reasons.
• honestly no clue what stats would be important for a sub, no argument here
• toxic gasses less of a problem thanks to poison resistance
• Dont even need to go to the surface, a fully underwater submarine port could be connected to existing dwarven settlements near the ocean with the correct design and planning.
• Also benefits from legendary dwarven engineering.

Both are important, even if everyone is getting lots of action (feels fast), if combats end up needing to be split between multiple sessions, people are going to complain that the story isn’t moving or that they have been stuck in combat forever. If people are waiting 30+ minutes for their turn, they are going to stop paying attention and do something else while waiting.

This is actually really strong for a max level artificer as they get a +1 to all saves for each attunement

Works great for moon druids too, to give them a ranged option in wild shape.

Honestly, if they caught the hint, understood what it meant, and took action, that would be a miracle and would totally be worth some cheese.

It does, but giving a warlock enough dex (which considering they dont get heavy armor prof is reasonable) to pass a dex save occasionally and like 18 hp is all you would need for this to be a major issue.

You keep doing that to older DnD players too, except you drop hints that the enemies are in a cult that has been giving them power and when the wizard does fireball them, the wizard gets hit by a dozen hellish rebukes from all the young warlocks they just hit.

The coloring made me think the cat was on a half finished pizza at first, which certainly changed the tone of things

Reborn tabaxi artificer armorer with a mechanically different though RP similar “living armor”. The living armor is the reason i was “reborn” as its keeping me alive longer but the curse of the living armor is of divine nature as i stole it from an evil cult, so removing it required a monumental effort (high level NPCs basically didnt exist).

The character reached an actual satisfying conclusion as there was an “enlightenment” challenge we managed to find that was heavily skill based and artificers are obscenely good at skill challenges (dm also liked tool checks where relevant, and was lenient with the skill training rules, reborn helped too, resulted in being able to roll d20+stat+prof*expertise+int+guidance(d4)+reborn(d6) on checks i needed to push). The enlightenment ultimately lead to access to enough divine power to break both the curse of the armor and of my undeath.

Ultimately though, despite how fun the RP around it was, it was one of my more OP characters considering how much it trivialized skill checks which that DM really loved.

I tried and failed to tone it down with my next character, which thanks to party dynamic became the single most OP BS i ever made even if it wasnt crazy good alone. Wanted to make a magic infiltrator and went with changeling + aberrant mind sorcerer. Ended up getting a shadowfell shard too. Mindsliver leading to a subtle quickened shadowfell shard boosted CC spell (fav was psychic lance since it wasnt concentration and almost nothing is immune to incapacitated, though hold person, and hypnotic pattern, and the like were also thrown frequently too) was an obscenely powerful combo, and since another new player made a DPS rogue+gloomstalker build, the only way for anything to have any chance of living is lots of legendary resistance and an obscene health pool. This was also a crazy fun build, that the power of it ended up being its downfall as everything we fought ended up being several CR higher than anyone of our level had any right to tangle with. (also yes, i know you can’t normally subtle + quicken, read the Psionic Sorcery power of aberrant sorcerers)

I’ve played 2 campaigns that went from 1 to 20, both became a chore late game just trying to keep track of all the items and threads. IMO, a game should stay bound to 2 tiers at most (the tiers being 1-4, 5-10, 11-16, and 17-20), going from peasant to world ender is just too much baggage. Maybe 3 tiers if you do want a complex and difficult to manage, but still possible to manage end game.

Extra credit here being that you are a shit load more likely to actually complete the story you want to tell

3. Get booted from every casino after making a mild amount of money

FTFY

Wish is an easy one, since it can be used to cast most of the other spells talked about here

Clone, immortality without any of the normal downsides (I can choose to die still and don’t need souls or any bs like that)

Identify and go pawn shop hunting and the like

Really most divination spells would be solid for stock market manipulation

Enchantment spells for manipulating the corporate ladder, or getting into politics or something (mass suggestion in the really any political nexus, geus for more targeted things, modify memory, etc).

Healing and revivification spells and sell my services to the elite, bring back the dead, speak to loved ones, etc. Clone works well here too, especially since it has age manipulation.