In case you can’t tell, I’m passionate about rationality and critical thinking.

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Joined 1 year ago
Cake day: September 22nd, 2024

  • Years before my dog passed, I sat in my bed, with her at my feet, and thought about the days she’d be gone.

    I started crying. Then the little sweetheart did what little sweethearts do - she came up to me, snuggled me, and gave me kisses.

    I held her and let it imprint into my mind.

    When she did pass years later, I thought about that night and how she did her best to comfort me. I imagined her still doing that, if she had been here.

    Her passing wasn’t easy, but having known how she reacted when I’d already thought about it made the time easier. I know she didn’t want me to be sad. She wanted to make me happy and be a supportive friend. Even in death, I could recall that one night and remember her sweetness trying to pick me up.

    To this day, I carry some of her ashes in a necklace over my heart. She used to want to follow me everywhere. Now she always will.





  • The thing to remember about having more friends is that that lifestyle requires maintenance. It’s not enough to make friendships, you have to constantly put in work to keep them.

    I used to feel jealous of people with lots of friends. But I realized through the years that I simply don’t have the social energy to keep up with “lots” of friends. A smaller circle with deeper connections makes more sense for me, and I’ve come to accept and embrace that.


  • This is the way. Life gets so much easier when you live by honesty and surround yourself with others who also live by it.

    Sometimes I cancel plans with a simple, “Hey, I had a long day and I’m pretty sapped for social energy right now. Could we do something tomorrow/on the weekend/next week instead?”

    People who get it, get it. People who don’t get it, aren’t people I’d likely hang out with in the first place.




  • Is it okay for someone agender to join in this discussion?

    I relate to some of these, but I don’t experience dysphoria. I was raised female but I feel zero attachment to any particular gender expression.

    Some things that come to mind:

    • Never minding when somebody called me “one of the guys”
    • Finding it funny when people mistook me for a boy
    • I was always fascinated by medical shows, especially ones where people transitioned
    • Fantasizing about freely switching between genders
    • I used to make up stories with my dolls where people switched genders. Most of my Barbies got their heads swapped with Kens at some point in time.
    • I hated make up. Still don’t want any. Whenever someone put make up on me, I lamented that I “didn’t look like me.”
    • Dressing androgynously and choosing androgynous hair cuts
    • Purposely shopping for “men’s” clothes to add to my wardrobe
    • Being offended when people wanted to give me a “make over.” I guess this is something girls are supposed to be excited about, but I always thought it was a judgy way to say something was “wrong” with how I presented myself as a woman.
    • Not feeling attached to any particular pronoun. I don’t like being asked about it, because I truly do not care.

    My appearance is unequivocally female today, but it’s not something I care hard enough about to change. It would require significant top surgery. If I lost my breasts I think others would be more upset than I would be - I’d just double-down on the androgynous look I had before these puppies grew so much. I have told friends (both trans and cis female alike) that I’d happily donate breast tissue to them if I could.

    Anyway, so that’s an agendered woman’s experiences.