I know thats supposed to be a cat face, but I always see a guy mooning me, and has 2 freckles on his lower back.

Beans, Beans, the magical cat, the more you pet, the more you…keep petting.

Ok, I need to work on rhyming schemes.

Weewooweewooweewoo!!! Mouse police!!! You’re under arrest for not petting meeeee!!!

No complaints here!

His shadow is very happy to meet you!

God cats have the best life. They wake up when they want. No annoying alarm clock to tell them they’re late to a place they don’t want to be. Performing work they don’t want to do, for an organization they don’t like. Just to come back where they started at the start of their day…too tired to enjoy the 3-4 hours before bedtime ready to do it all over again.

Nope. Cats just get to take 19 naps a day, be cute, and get free love and attention from the people providing this free lifestyle for them.

And then sometimes…just sometimes…they stare into the void. It could be a blank white wall, but they see something we don’t. Something frightning. Something terrifying!!! Whatever it is, it cannot be percieved by our simple human brains, but they can see it. They can see it clearly. So they take off running like a bat out of hell, racing up the stairs and under your bed, only to enter the cat dimension! No greebles can get to them in there! But what about the humans??? Can the humans survive the greebles attacks??? There is no way to find out until it happens. If the humans were smart, they’d have ran under this bed too when the greebles approached. All we can do now is wait, and prey that the macebre of death and destruction is at a minimal this time. For as a cat, they have seen this before, and know how it ends! It ends when the chosen son of goul is reserected into the body of…wait, is the human using the CAN OPENER!!! CHICKEN! CHICKEN! CHICKDN! GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE!!!

They look frightened. They look like they need nice warm homes.

You are the one Neo…to get these head scritches!!!

YEAH!!! I WAS THE FIRST TO MAKE A MATRIX REFERENCE!!!

I assume I’m now given a medal? And a plaque? And a statue in my image place in downtown public square for all to admire?

Yesssssss, bask in my glory! For I was the one…who made a MATRIX REFERENCE FIRST!!!

MWA HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Scritch scritch scritch

“Paint me like one of your french girls!”

It is. I know a Felix. He’s a guy.

I just wasn’t prepared for this cow trotting over slowly at first, and then into a full run as she realized what happened. Then finally nuzzling the end of her mouth into the area under the victim cows head. Like she was trying to lift it.

It was like she was saying “Phil? What was that noise? Phil? Phil??? PHIL!!! OH GOD NO!!! PHIIIIIILLLLLL!!! NO! NO! NO! NO! PHIL TALK TO ME!!!”

And now you’re saying that’s basically what did happen.

All hail MooCow!

Nah. This was like 6 years ago, a random youtube suggestion. Youtube reccomends me some real weird stuff sometimes.

I once saw a video of a dashcam. This guy is driving out in the farmlands, but the roads were twisty like a pretzal made by a drunk guy. And this driver is a real piece of shit. He’s doing like 70 down a twisty road that he can’t see the next turns sometimes. Well he takes this turn real hard at 70, but immediately after the turn, the road turns the OPPOSITE direction almost immediately. At those speeds, and with those hills, his car goes flying over a fence, into a private farm, lands just before a cow, but the momentum carried his car into hitting the cow. I checked the frame by frame gps display. He hit the cow still at 50mph even after hitting the ground first.

This cow goes down HARD. He let out this little whimper noise. The description said the driver died. I ASSUME the hit cow died. But right after it happened, this one cow comes trotting over. Kinda slowly at first, and then with great emergency once it kind of grasped what had just happened. Then she starts moo’ing like crazy, and suddenly dozens of angry cows come running over the hill. They all surrounded the hit cow, and the first cow is just nuzzling it’s head with her own head. I know it sounds crazy, but I swear the emotion there was like the first cow was trying to wake up the hit cow. Then this herd of cows starts angrily mooing at the car. I swear it was like they understood that the car was at fault, and they were pissed. They started running at the car, bashing it with their bodies. The guy inside, was either already dead, or died later with EMS. I’m not sure which.

I just know it was like these cows were a community, mourning the dead, and angry at the killer. And they were COWS!!!

“Hello, Jon. This is my belly. If you touch it, I WILL murder you. Right in front of your stupid little kid that always pulls my tail. Until then, I’m just gonna give a reeeeaaaaalllll big stretch!”

Uhhhhhh…she ok? She seems to have barfed out a piece of brain…

I bet its comfy as fuck!

Chicken! Chicken with gravy in a catnip sauce.

Weird. Usually its the dog thats overly energetic to meet you and say hi.

This time, the cat politely says hi, and the dog says “LEAVE ME ALONE!!!”