As a monogamous cishetflex guy, I would offer a hug or other platonic physical comforting gesture to you and say “I dunno, people are weird. Don’t let us get you down”.

To your point about gender being uncountably infinite, I agree with you - particularly because my gender is only defined by my singular relationship to how I perceive myself (and I think everybody comes to that in their own way). There’s a certain subset of “everyone” that just can’t grok that someone else could have a different understanding of themselves, and a nonzero percentage of them feels like those differences of opinions devalue their existence for one reason or another. It’s totally unwarranted and not the case, but it sucks when they act on those feelings to denigrate another person.

I’m sad that you’re getting down about it, but I also want to encourage you - you grappling with this is going to strengthen who you are and I’m really excited for that person.

[Image description: a screen cap of the Yeti Cool Brothers with one saying “He must be queer. Pretty cool”]

@MiserableConstruct the Republican National Convention is in Milwaukee this week, and the post is noting that Grindr is experiencing outages due to heavy traffic in Milwaukee. It is poking fun at the RNC convention, and their proclivities despite protestations, rather than the state of Wisconsin.

I studied savate (French kickboxing) for a while, as well as some karate. The savate really did wonders for my flexibility and balance in a way that I didn’t experience with the karate, and it also felt more applicable in the “real world” in the same way that krav maga and other close quarter / street fighting martial arts do.

To echo @TexMexBazooka, the real lessons were in de-escalation and knowing how to defend yourself decisively to enable escape from the fight. My savate instructor was very clear that any and every fight was a deadly one and that if he found out we fought instead of escaping he’d kick the crap out of us and then kick us out of the program.

I think there’s also a benefit in learning how to take a hit, even though the goal is to avoid those. There are lots of body mechanics involved in fighting motions and practical experience taking and avoiding hits teaches you to recognize those movements automatically.

There is an issue with the claim in the first paragraph which immediately set off alarms. While it doesn’t hurt the argument for interpersonal respect, such a claim doesn’t support the point the author is trying to make. This reader found it interesting that the writer chose not to employ capital letters for the second person pronouns in the piece.

This reader also has Webster’s, Roget’s, The Harbrace Handbook, The American Spelling Book, and Washington’s Rules of Civility together on the shelf, for some context. Some portion of the neurodivergent population (such as the person here) cling to these conventions for a sense of security when interacting with others in a written format and no offense or slight is intended. Please assume good faith when interacting with the people on Beehaw.

I usually ask how folks prefer to hear the community referenced to avoid those fight or flight responses. Het with some flex, if they get to know me that well, doesn’t mean I’m part of the community as they define it - some people have wider or narrower definitions and qualifiers than others and I’m fine with that - but either way, my comfort doesn’t mean others share that feeling and it’s on me to be conscientious and kind.

Be the change you want to see in the world!

This is such a small thing which I have so few occasions to use, but I wish the term “QUILTBAG” had become more popularized when it was coined in 2006 (caps are for accuracy, not shouting). It’s just more fun to say, and I’m a sucker for a good acronym

I am also still here from then, though I don’t often comment in some spaces - like this one. Sometimes I feel that I don’t have much to offer, comment-wise, due to being a member of several of the most privileged groups of people and (possibly unnecessarily) being acutely aware that some spaces don’t really need more opinions from the intersection I inhabit.

Glad to know you’re doing well, keep it up!

Like @Froyn said, Bob’s Burgers is super cozy.