

That’s all so fun to hear! My spouse of 11 years (together for 15 now, crazy) is very femme nonbinary and demi, so I also have had one of the most supportive and successful experiences of transition that I can imagine someone having when it comes to personal life. They have been so glad to see me being joyous and happy, embracing the sapphic nature of it lol.
I’m just shy of 6 months sublingual monotherapy but I’m not passing afaict, though having lost some 45 pounds and taking better care of myself I’ve at least had some moments where makeup and my newfound confidence seem to carry me a long way. I’ve gotten a couple of judgy stares in public but so far I’ve been told I look great by folks I saw regularly pre-transition.
I also had a pretty fulfilling life up to this point, and spent two eggy years being excited about being “gender non-conforming” by wearing skirts and pretty hair clips and long socks (after a friend gifted me some “programmer socks” as a joke and I loved them lmao.
What ultimately made my egg shatter was reading https://genderdysphoria.fyi/ and realizing I had a combination of chemical and social dysphoria. I wasn’t happy at all, just endlessly avoiding sliding into despair. I was heavily experiencing derealization and depersonalization. Also spent a couple months trying to work out the difference between gender envy and attraction. I’m also apparently very stereotypical transfem, enjoying girls shows as a kid and playing girl characters in games… There came a point where it was undeniable.
I’m still not out to everyone in my life yet but I’m working on it. Planning to tell my parents this weekend, and taking it much slower with anything public because I know a lot of my extended family will be harder to deal with. I also work for a small company that I know is likely to let me go as soon as I’m out to them. I could be wrong about that but I’m not taking the chance, will fly under the radar as long as I can there.
HRT itself has been crazy good to my brain though. I no longer suffer from a looming sense of despair, my self worth has skyrocketed, and I am no longer afraid to take up space. Drowning in self-contempt is no longer my reality and I refuse to let myself go back to the feeling that every day is exactly the same. It’s like the world was tilted and I was constantly sliding downhill in the direction of nihilistic doom and gloom, and HRT fixed gravity so I can actually move in the direction of happy now. My worst days now are better than my best days were before. Crazy how medical treatment does that lol.
No worries at all! I wasn’t offended, just pointing out that others might find that wording confusing since it makes it sound like a choice to become what you are instead of a choice to accept yourself and embrace it. I agree though it’s a rather meaningless distinction in the grand scheme of things: I chose to change the way I identify, even if my identity didn’t actually change. I chose to embrace myself for who I am, rather than continue fighting the dispair and depression of living the lie I wasnt even aware was a lie.
I learned of gender dysphoria and realized I suffered from it and needed treatment. Did that turn me queer? Who cares, it’s the moment I pivoted toward being the best me I can be! And that’s what matters :-)
Thanks for being an ally, it’s really clear you’re on our side even if words are jard and you should never let anyone try and tell you that isn’t good enough.