• 1 Post
  • 11 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
Cake day: June 5th, 2023

  • No worries at all! I wasn’t offended, just pointing out that others might find that wording confusing since it makes it sound like a choice to become what you are instead of a choice to accept yourself and embrace it. I agree though it’s a rather meaningless distinction in the grand scheme of things: I chose to change the way I identify, even if my identity didn’t actually change. I chose to embrace myself for who I am, rather than continue fighting the dispair and depression of living the lie I wasnt even aware was a lie.

    I learned of gender dysphoria and realized I suffered from it and needed treatment. Did that turn me queer? Who cares, it’s the moment I pivoted toward being the best me I can be! And that’s what matters :-)

    Thanks for being an ally, it’s really clear you’re on our side even if words are jard and you should never let anyone try and tell you that isn’t good enough.


  • That’s all so fun to hear! My spouse of 11 years (together for 15 now, crazy) is very femme nonbinary and demi, so I also have had one of the most supportive and successful experiences of transition that I can imagine someone having when it comes to personal life. They have been so glad to see me being joyous and happy, embracing the sapphic nature of it lol.

    I’m just shy of 6 months sublingual monotherapy but I’m not passing afaict, though having lost some 45 pounds and taking better care of myself I’ve at least had some moments where makeup and my newfound confidence seem to carry me a long way. I’ve gotten a couple of judgy stares in public but so far I’ve been told I look great by folks I saw regularly pre-transition.

    I also had a pretty fulfilling life up to this point, and spent two eggy years being excited about being “gender non-conforming” by wearing skirts and pretty hair clips and long socks (after a friend gifted me some “programmer socks” as a joke and I loved them lmao.

    What ultimately made my egg shatter was reading https://genderdysphoria.fyi/ and realizing I had a combination of chemical and social dysphoria. I wasn’t happy at all, just endlessly avoiding sliding into despair. I was heavily experiencing derealization and depersonalization. Also spent a couple months trying to work out the difference between gender envy and attraction. I’m also apparently very stereotypical transfem, enjoying girls shows as a kid and playing girl characters in games… There came a point where it was undeniable.

    I’m still not out to everyone in my life yet but I’m working on it. Planning to tell my parents this weekend, and taking it much slower with anything public because I know a lot of my extended family will be harder to deal with. I also work for a small company that I know is likely to let me go as soon as I’m out to them. I could be wrong about that but I’m not taking the chance, will fly under the radar as long as I can there.

    HRT itself has been crazy good to my brain though. I no longer suffer from a looming sense of despair, my self worth has skyrocketed, and I am no longer afraid to take up space. Drowning in self-contempt is no longer my reality and I refuse to let myself go back to the feeling that every day is exactly the same. It’s like the world was tilted and I was constantly sliding downhill in the direction of nihilistic doom and gloom, and HRT fixed gravity so I can actually move in the direction of happy now. My worst days now are better than my best days were before. Crazy how medical treatment does that lol.







  • It’s insane the ways we can be positively impacted by terrible circumstances. I’m glad to hear things are looking up, and that you’re surrounded by better people now! One of the best parts of discovering myself has been having a safe space at home with my partner, who had already been exploring some genderqueer conversations and topics. I can’t imagine how much harder it would have been without them and their support through all of this, much less being in a rough situation instead.

    It really is cool how unjudgy queer spaces are, with the knowledge you won’t be held up to some standard and deemed worthy or unworthy of someone’s presence just based on whether you meet standards you had no part in choosing. Thanks for sharing!





  • The other comment has done a pretty great job of summarizing it, but the answer is essentially that it differs between people. I’ve just hit the 90 day mark with mine, taking only 2mg per day via the sublingual route. I am only just now getting some soreness behind my nipples that might indicate the start of permanent growth.

    My personal rough timeline started as:

    1 week:

    • Skin was noticeably less oily
    • Facial hair already began growing in a little bit slower/thinner
    • Higher amounts of executive function

    2 weeks:

    • Core temperature dropped from a typical average 99.7 to average 96.9 (measured twice daily when I started feeling cold)
    • Emotions started to feel bigger. More present. More significant, maybe.

    3 Weeks

    • Started noticing that I need to eat less to feel full. This was probably due to dieting, but I had already been dieting for a solid 3 months so it came as a surprise.
    • Cried for the first time about something that happened years ago. Realized it feels like a wall has come down from between me and my emotions. I have stopped dissociating, and happiness feels more real than it ever has

    6 Weeks

    • Visible decrease in flaccid size of my genitalia (no erect changes)
    • marked decrease in blood pressure
    • my nipples are hard constantly, but no notable pain or growth

    8 weeks

    • Marked changes in sexual sensitivities
    • Notably lower amounts of ejaculate
    • Realize I haven’t yelled or been aggressive when frustrated in nearly a month at least
    • My resting face has come to resemble more of a smile than a scowl … But that’s probably not a medical change :-)

    None of those are permanent changes, and talking with some other folks that seems to be a pretty common thread: Permanent changes are usually many months in, so unless you have a very specifically accelerated response to it, you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. if your specialist says you can try it out fearlessly, then you should listen to their advice.