I also hear a lot about how he gives us all challenges to overcome.

Non op here, so not an answer to your question, but I carried a couple pads/tampons in my bag for a long time just so I was able to help if/when needed.

Ooh, she’s pretty dope. I can live with this.

Who is General Trans? Is that who decides our agenda?

First you need to find out why you feel this way. These feelings are typically rooted in shame, and shame is often instilled by family and/or community, as it is in your case.

Once you have your first answer to why, dig deeper. You were shamed by family. Why did they shame you? Try to understand how their life experience might have led them to shame others. If it was something else, too, can you find out why that happened?

Keep follow the chain backwards. It usually extends far before you were born and beyond your control. I personally find that extremely therapeutic.

It’s not a silver bullet, and it requires plenty of work, but it can help you figure stuff out and set you up for getting past it. (This is where it might get annoying. The next part involves a lot of self forgiveness and positive reinforcement.)

I would also suggest setting aside time to do research into psychology, so you can understand the actual mechanics going on behind the scenes. Your therapist may be a great resource for self learning, too.

If this resonates with you, I can go further into detail, or even chat via DM. Let me know if you’d like that!