Baut [she/her] auf.

Do you have recommendations?

Whoa, that’s incredibly cute! ✨
It’s inspiring to read how well you communicated!

Oh and also talking for the first time to a therapist was like super stressful for me, but it became really nice in 3 nanoseconds after I finally had the courage. I don’t have any hints how to make that easier.
Good luck, wishing you all the best!

If what you read, makes you think I’m not trans then please please please tell me so.

I completely understand looking for any straws to get clarity, but I don’t think you should ever believe anybody who tells you something about that. Only you know what you want!
I am trans and lesbian (although I just learned about the term “sapphic” and that’s kinda neat), and I can relate to the difference being hard to tell. I just know that when I figured myself out more (and started hrt), this difference became much clearer.
A friend of mine recently told me about how she as a (formerly repressing) trans person got used to pushing feelings away, that she has to re-learn figuring out what she feels. While I don’t know if I can relate 100% to her, being trans can be super difficult emotionally. Maybe take breaks and allow yourself to postpone decisions you don’t need to be sure of today.