Thanks, last week it was his first year death anniversary.
We still light a candle besides his urn everyday.
Just can’t get over it. He was like a mix of brother and child for me, and we went through tough times together.
Doesn’t work that way for me emotionally
And anyway, a new cat will happen to me, and not the other way round (that I look for one)
It’s a hole in my heart, that can’t be replaced.
I can always love another cat, but I will forever miss him.
And I’m not sure, if I’m ready for a new cat.
I would probably be reminded too much about similarities and differences…and either way, I’ll be sad
Thing is, I pretty much put my job on hold for nearly a year, because I was fighting for his life.
We had months of daily visits at the vet and also gave him infusions (not sure if that is the right term in English) at home as well
We was a tough fighter and didn’t want to give up
In the last weeks he couldn’t get into our bed anymore, so I slept with him on the hard bathroom floor - where he liked it because of the heated floor
The vets couldn’t figure out what’s wrong, until they felt tumors 2 weeks before we needed to put him down.
We were prepared and tried to make this as comfortable as possible for him, and do it ourselves at home.
But he took all the meds without much of a fuss and just wouldn’t even go to sleep.
Although we were just shaking at that point, because nothing worked as planned.
In the end, we need to wait with a cat in pain for 2 hours until the vet opened again, and he got his final injection there.
At least the painkillers worked for the last hour before the vet and we had some cuddle and talk time.
He even seemed to have fun to be not in his case, when we went over to the vet - looked at me with a me astonished smile, that this is new and fun.
But at this point he couldn’t even walk without assistance anymore - still, he didn’t want to leave us and give up.
We had some time, when we were separated, because of a broken relationship.
But my ex didn’t really took care of him, so I took him back, although I still needed to go on business trips - but a friend and new girlfriend (now wife) jumped in looking for him.
As my wife and I moved into a new apartment together, he couldn’t comprehend at first what was happening.
He stood up from his travel case and hugged me, while burying his face in my shoulder - like a card version of crying.
Because he thought, that he needs to leave me again.
Only after he realized, that we’re still so together in the new apartment, he was so fucking happy and all was good in the world again.
He didn’t care about the place we lived in, he cared about being with us.
Every time we went on vacation, he was completely broken and I couldn’t even enjoy the vacation, because I knew, that he is depressed.
Together we went on adventures, exploring cellars or gardens of the houses we moved in (we sadly needed to move quite some times) and that was the most fun for him.
He’s often begged me to go for some adventure together, but sometimes I was too finished because of work.
Now I could cry about every missed opportunity…
I had several cats during my life, and often had deep relationships with them.
But this cat was different.
He was special for me - and we for him.
He wasn’t just a cat, he was my friend, a brother and sometimes a child to me, when he needed it.
My old boy is nearly 16. We moved house this time last year and he aged a lot I think from the initial stress. He is comfortable here now.
This cat is like another son. I know that time is short and losing him is going to break me. I get upset just thinking about it.
It is a blessing that we get to be loved by our pets. We can only love them back with all our hearts, but eventually we have to move on without them and I think it will be the most challenging time of my life so far when that occurs.
Thank you very much for your kind words and the pictures you shared.
It actually really helped to let it all out to internet standards and find compassion
Really, thank you.
I’m trying hard to hold back to not flood you guys with pictures - as I’ve taken care to not use ones with my face in it, but as you just said, fuck it, this is my cat and I love him, I’m feeling inclined to do the same ;-)
During the year of our fight, I was already thinking of making a community just about him.
But because of the “fame”, but just so I can let it all out and show the world how awesome he is…well, was.
Maybe I’ll make a thread about his life.
I’ve planned to make a little picture book with stories just for myself, so I know, I’ll never forget.
Maybe this is the way to go.
Really, thank you.
That was more than nice and really helped me to cope :-)
Thanks for sharing and couldn’t have said it better
You have a really nice proud boy there! :-D
And happy he is :-)
Thing is, doesn’t matter how much you invest, you’ll always think, that you should’ve done more, enjoyed the time more or taken the opportunities our little friends give us.
I think, it will always be too less in hindsight.
So, enjoy and I’m really happy for you to have such a nice (and good looking) friend at yours :-)
Thank you for sharing all of that. I hope for all the best for you. I know when I lost my kitty, half of the problems I had was the constant reminders that she wasn’t there; hearing something at a door and thinking it was her scratching to be let in, only to open the door to nothing was profoundly depressing.
Yeah, I completely get that
Already experienced it during our year of separation. That was quite rough. A relationship break up and losing my loved cat.
But, and I’m sorry, but it just spills out now…
He once came up to me overly excited and made some weird moves with his mouth, looking happy and full of expectation at me.
And I just couldn’t figure out, what he wanted to tell me at that moment.
Until we both grew frustrated and I said, “sorry, I don’t know what you want to say”
He stormed off, massively offended
Just hours later I realized, he tried to throw me kisses, like we did to him all the time, and he wanted to return the favor.
Although I extensively explained and excused myself, he never did it again.
Still breaks my heart, seeing him in my memory, how happy he was to show me something new he had learned. Even something he meant as an expression of love towards us.
And I just didn’t get it in time…
Stuff like that still breaks me.
Thanks for hearing me out.
I could probably go on forever…
Thanks, last week it was his first year death anniversary.
We still light a candle besides his urn everyday.
Just can’t get over it. He was like a mix of brother and child for me, and we went through tough times together.
Feel hugged, thanks that I could share my pain
Perhaps get another kitty? Maybe that could help. In any event, best wishes. Losing a cat sucks.
Doesn’t work that way for me emotionally
And anyway, a new cat will happen to me, and not the other way round (that I look for one)
It’s a hole in my heart, that can’t be replaced.
I can always love another cat, but I will forever miss him.
And I’m not sure, if I’m ready for a new cat.
I would probably be reminded too much about similarities and differences…and either way, I’ll be sad
Thing is, I pretty much put my job on hold for nearly a year, because I was fighting for his life.
We had months of daily visits at the vet and also gave him infusions (not sure if that is the right term in English) at home as well
We was a tough fighter and didn’t want to give up
In the last weeks he couldn’t get into our bed anymore, so I slept with him on the hard bathroom floor - where he liked it because of the heated floor
The vets couldn’t figure out what’s wrong, until they felt tumors 2 weeks before we needed to put him down.
We were prepared and tried to make this as comfortable as possible for him, and do it ourselves at home.
But he took all the meds without much of a fuss and just wouldn’t even go to sleep.
Although we were just shaking at that point, because nothing worked as planned.
In the end, we need to wait with a cat in pain for 2 hours until the vet opened again, and he got his final injection there.
At least the painkillers worked for the last hour before the vet and we had some cuddle and talk time.
He even seemed to have fun to be not in his case, when we went over to the vet - looked at me with a me astonished smile, that this is new and fun.
But at this point he couldn’t even walk without assistance anymore - still, he didn’t want to leave us and give up.
We had some time, when we were separated, because of a broken relationship.
But my ex didn’t really took care of him, so I took him back, although I still needed to go on business trips - but a friend and new girlfriend (now wife) jumped in looking for him.
As my wife and I moved into a new apartment together, he couldn’t comprehend at first what was happening.
He stood up from his travel case and hugged me, while burying his face in my shoulder - like a card version of crying. Because he thought, that he needs to leave me again.
Only after he realized, that we’re still so together in the new apartment, he was so fucking happy and all was good in the world again.
He didn’t care about the place we lived in, he cared about being with us.
Every time we went on vacation, he was completely broken and I couldn’t even enjoy the vacation, because I knew, that he is depressed.
Together we went on adventures, exploring cellars or gardens of the houses we moved in (we sadly needed to move quite some times) and that was the most fun for him.
He’s often begged me to go for some adventure together, but sometimes I was too finished because of work.
Now I could cry about every missed opportunity…
I had several cats during my life, and often had deep relationships with them.
But this cat was different.
He was special for me - and we for him.
He wasn’t just a cat, he was my friend, a brother and sometimes a child to me, when he needed it.
Who is cutting onions!?
My old boy is nearly 16. We moved house this time last year and he aged a lot I think from the initial stress. He is comfortable here now.
This cat is like another son. I know that time is short and losing him is going to break me. I get upset just thinking about it.
It is a blessing that we get to be loved by our pets. We can only love them back with all our hearts, but eventually we have to move on without them and I think it will be the most challenging time of my life so far when that occurs.
Maybe I should also share some pictures of my best friend…
Well, seems, my client declines to upload more than picture at once
But at least it was one of the happy times and he is looking handsome :-)
He was gorgeous! 🥰 I am sorry for your loss. I hope you remember the good times and the pain that comes with the memories subsides.
Thank you very much for your kind words and the pictures you shared.
It actually really helped to let it all out to internet standards and find compassion
Really, thank you.
I’m trying hard to hold back to not flood you guys with pictures - as I’ve taken care to not use ones with my face in it, but as you just said, fuck it, this is my cat and I love him, I’m feeling inclined to do the same ;-)
During the year of our fight, I was already thinking of making a community just about him.
But because of the “fame”, but just so I can let it all out and show the world how awesome he is…well, was.
Maybe I’ll make a thread about his life.
I’ve planned to make a little picture book with stories just for myself, so I know, I’ll never forget.
Maybe this is the way to go.
Really, thank you.
That was more than nice and really helped me to cope :-)
Thanks for sharing and couldn’t have said it better
You have a really nice proud boy there! :-D
And happy he is :-)
Thing is, doesn’t matter how much you invest, you’ll always think, that you should’ve done more, enjoyed the time more or taken the opportunities our little friends give us.
I think, it will always be too less in hindsight.
So, enjoy and I’m really happy for you to have such a nice (and good looking) friend at yours :-)
Thank you for sharing all of that. I hope for all the best for you. I know when I lost my kitty, half of the problems I had was the constant reminders that she wasn’t there; hearing something at a door and thinking it was her scratching to be let in, only to open the door to nothing was profoundly depressing.
Yeah, I completely get that
Already experienced it during our year of separation. That was quite rough. A relationship break up and losing my loved cat.
But, and I’m sorry, but it just spills out now…
He once came up to me overly excited and made some weird moves with his mouth, looking happy and full of expectation at me.
And I just couldn’t figure out, what he wanted to tell me at that moment.
Until we both grew frustrated and I said, “sorry, I don’t know what you want to say”
He stormed off, massively offended
Just hours later I realized, he tried to throw me kisses, like we did to him all the time, and he wanted to return the favor.
Although I extensively explained and excused myself, he never did it again.
Still breaks my heart, seeing him in my memory, how happy he was to show me something new he had learned. Even something he meant as an expression of love towards us.
And I just didn’t get it in time…
Stuff like that still breaks me.
Thanks for hearing me out.
I could probably go on forever…