I had a friend that was SO concerned about who was using what bathroom. He’s not a transphobe and has a transgender friend.
He just got really worked up about it and kept questioning me about it. Which makes me always respond with: “I’m a progressive”. He was like, “why do I get hate if I just say there’s two genders”, I said “it’s 'cause you’re wrong, ignoring the definition of gender, you know there are intersex people right?” … and we get stuck into this loop where he doesn’t really understand what I’m saying and gets into why he deserves any hate for saying there’s only two genders. No talk about sex vs gender or anything else makes any movement forward. Even if you think there’s only two genders, I don’t know why it’s such a big deal to them.
I hate to break it to you… but your friend is a transphobe
You think so? I usually try to avoid using those terms for more overt displays?
I won’t deny that the cognitive dissonance is jarring though. I think there’s a few schools of thought here. I can either cut them out of my life or I can slow burn them over time. I’ve known this guy for a long time and he respect me to a degree … so I’d rather be that friend that pulls him back to what I see as normal.
In a certain sense, I agree with you. However, I don’t necessarily think it’s productive to call people like this transphobic. I go into detail on why I think this in a reply to the other person who replied to you.
Is it productive to call someone transphobic ever (at least to their face)?
We would guess it does no good to most people as they instantly get defensive because most people care more about not being called a bigot than actually not being one.
Edit: Look around lemmy and reddit etc, it’s filled with people like this.
I had a friend that was SO concerned about who was using what bathroom. He’s not a transphobe and has a transgender friend.
He just got really worked up about it and kept questioning me about it. Which makes me always respond with: “I’m a progressive”. He was like, “why do I get hate if I just say there’s two genders”, I said “it’s 'cause you’re wrong, ignoring the definition of gender, you know there are intersex people right?” … and we get stuck into this loop where he doesn’t really understand what I’m saying and gets into why he deserves any hate for saying there’s only two genders. No talk about sex vs gender or anything else makes any movement forward. Even if you think there’s only two genders, I don’t know why it’s such a big deal to them.
I hate to break it to you… but your friend is a transphobe. Prejudice doesn’t always come with violence and slurs.
You think so? I usually try to avoid using those terms for more overt displays?
I won’t deny that the cognitive dissonance is jarring though. I think there’s a few schools of thought here. I can either cut them out of my life or I can slow burn them over time. I’ve known this guy for a long time and he respect me to a degree … so I’d rather be that friend that pulls him back to what I see as normal.
In a certain sense, I agree with you. However, I don’t necessarily think it’s productive to call people like this transphobic. I go into detail on why I think this in a reply to the other person who replied to you.
Is it productive to call someone transphobic ever (at least to their face)?
We would guess it does no good to most people as they instantly get defensive because most people care more about not being called a bigot than actually not being one.
Edit: Look around lemmy and reddit etc, it’s filled with people like this.