“Oh tha’s nice. Good grip on the bottom, large top to hit with, large middle for deflection. Too bad ya made it out of this weak wood or it would be an excellent weapon!”

“That is a chair you brute! Was a chair. Now it’s fire wood…”

“Ya can sit on it too? Genius! Just needs a place to hold a drink and it could be perfect!”

“… That’s a good idea, actually…”