“Oh tha’s nice. Good grip on the bottom, large top to hit with, large middle for deflection. Too bad ya made it out of this weak wood or it would be an excellent weapon!”

“That is a chair you brute! Was a chair. Now it’s fire wood…”

“Ya can sit on it too? Genius! Just needs a place to hold a drink and it could be perfect!”

“… That’s a good idea, actually…”

Perception check? Nat 1. There’s probably like 6 nails there.

They could probably just do that. Just move to a different career path and show support for an animal activist group; they would get a chance to talk about a cause they support, talk about their father on camera, and honor what so many people remember him for.

The ritual could have been real, but was quietly faked so that a corrupt leader could avoid facing their fate.

Or, the ritual was always fake but used as a cover to assassinate specific targets without consequences.