I just like bears, know a little bit, and think they’re getting fucked over in many parts of the US. I definitely wasn’t finding fault with a joke.
If you tried to scritch a wild cat you might just get away with it for awhile. But, you’re never getting that hand back :)
I would think a two-hander is massive enough to be a blunt weapon if turned sideways, striking with the flat of the sword. But, my opinion is really uninformed.