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5 months agoZut alors! C’est Domage! Quelle espece d’andoille!
Hello. I am a single, middle aged man from midwestern United States. Pic is not me.
Zut alors! C’est Domage! Quelle espece d’andoille!
Ok.
So make Tea in the microwave with plenty of salt.
I got it. Brits, you good? Boffins? Cheerio, pip, pip?
Oh. Is there writing in Denmark?
He should know.
Why do you want a toy made from REAL cat?
Dammit. This WAS my joke.
Three ropes walk into a bar…
French security:
FRENCH GUARD: Allo! Who is eet?
ARTHUR: It is King Arthur, and these are my Knights of the Round Table. Whose castle is this?
FRENCH GUARD: This is the castle of my master, Guy de Loimbard.
ARTHUR: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night, he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.
FRENCH GUARD: Well, I’ll ask him, but I don’t think he’ll be very keen. Uh, he’s already got one, you see.
ARTHUR: What?
GALAHAD: He says they’ve already got one!
ARTHUR: Are you sure he’s got one?
FRENCH GUARD: Oh, yes. It’s very nice-a. (I told him we already got one.)
FRENCH GUARDS: [chuckling]
ARTHUR: Well, u-- um, can we come up and have a look?
FRENCH GUARD: Of course not! You are English types-a!
ARTHUR: Well, what are you, then?
FRENCH GUARD: I’m French! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king-a?!
GALAHAD: What are you doing in England?
FRENCH GUARD: Mind your own business!
ARTHUR: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!
FRENCH GUARD: You don’t frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King, you and all your silly English k-nnnnniggets. Thpppppt! Thppt! Thppt!
GALAHAD: What a strange person.
ARTHUR: Now look here, my good man–
FRENCH GUARD: I don’t wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
GALAHAD: Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
FRENCH GUARD: No. Now, go away, or I shall taunt you a second time-a!