don

lol the preemptive num-num-numming before the water even starts, then the “hey cmon make with the tasty already” move lmao

“I fits, I sits. Put your stinky, stupid human feet somewhere else. Like outside. And stay outside. Except to feed me and clean my litter box. Then go back outside.”

Enjoy, sweet prince, for you are loved and treasure, and you shall not soon be forgotten.

“I see you’ve learned nothing from my instructions, pitiful human, and see fit to fetter me with this ridiculous, absurd contraption. Mark well my words: you will regret deeply the foolishness of your actions, and so too will your offspring. Do not bother praying, there exist no gods that will save you.”

You have a choice, my awesome little dude: the treats isle first, or the toys isle. What’s it gonna be?

What, dude? I’ll tryna chill here.

He’s a model, you know what I mean?

And he does his little turn on the catwalk, Yeah, on the catwalk,

On the catwalk, yeah

He does his little turn on the catwalk.

Some other cats: glares at you in the dark, slowly gets up and walks over to you, baps you right in your stupid face, goes back to warm spot and falls asleep, leaving you wondering where the fuck you went wrong.

Next time search for pictures of bird houses and realize that you don’t use a hanger bay door for the entrance to a bird house.