

“You see this, Sharon? If this shit goes wrong, Mr, Teddy gets the claws. I swear on my toe beans it will be a blizzard of entrails the likes you’ve never seen. You’ll be pulling teddy bear innards out of the lint trap for the rest of your life.”
China #1
Best friends with the mods at c/worldnews@lemmy.ml
“You see this, Sharon? If this shit goes wrong, Mr, Teddy gets the claws. I swear on my toe beans it will be a blizzard of entrails the likes you’ve never seen. You’ll be pulling teddy bear innards out of the lint trap for the rest of your life.”
That’s from rolls of excess skin, when you pull, the fur stays in the same shape, but the skin beneath flattens. Could be overweight, could just be older loose skin.
Damn! Hell yeah!
Oh, I get to roll a character? Well, let’s see… I think I’ll be a ranger. And I’ll be drow. And for my backstory I was an orphan who was abused by the city guard and all of the other orphans so I have no friends and I have a dagger that I found that gives me invisibility for 1d4 hours once per day and I can talk to animals but mostly cats and they tell me when there is treasure or mice around and I don’t trust anyone but the cats and I don’t have any goals for my life so if an adventure pops up I’ll be the one walking to the bar to find a person to sleep with and…
Yeah, motherfuckers. That’s how it feels.
WotC and AI generated art.
Really? That’s the third time today. It’s gonna fall off…
That is a modesty wrap. Please, avert your eyes.
I haven’t run one of their stories, but I’ve bought a few to get the structure for my own down. Making sure I have things like levels, traps, challenges, and rewards lined up with time spent in the adventure. But as far as storylines go, I love writing my own too much.
The rules are free. The stories are paid. I think that is more than fair.
There are several at the top of the picture, I think Mittens will be just fine.
“But I don’t have a cloaca.”
Context, if you want it:
I was playing a frost giant fighter, and I found a dragon egg. I asked the town vet (who the DM made up on the spot) how I could hatch the egg and raise the dragon as my own. The vet told me that dragons cannot be tamed, and that dragons bond with their mothers in the womb, and then, the egg must be laid. My line, “But I don’t have a cloaca”, and the vet shrugs. Queue Always Sunny theme music, “The Gang Kidnaps a Druid”. In the end, I gave birth to my dragon buddy, and I named him Pellinore, and we had many great adventures until I found a bell that reversed aging, and Pellinore turned back into an egg, and the campaign ended before he hatched, again. I’m GMing the new campaign that is all homebrew, and Pellinore is making a comeback, though.
Believable. I once passed by a book titled “Common Circumcision Rituals of Orc Clans in the Great Southern Wastes” written by Dr. SpinalfluidHammer, MD. The cover was of the author holding a too-large knife covered in too much blood. He seemed happier than the situation called for.
Woah, woah, keep that thing in its sheath.
You can’t miss.
Any npc I make up on the fly is 100% an orc. I can just put bodily-fluid+weapon together and boom, named.
Oh, him? Yeah, that’s the Orc bartender PissMace.
Lmfao. 55 upvotes, 4 downvotes, and removed by mods. I’ll just restate it for those that didn’t see it. Jesus isn’t real, the Church hates you. Don’t elevate them by sharing poetry to make them seem less the monsters they are. If it makes their life easier, they will walk over your fallen body and they won’t give it a second thought. When they go to sleep at night, they’ll say their prayers and sleep well while repeating the mantra, “Homosexuality is a sin.”
I don’t believe in a “greater good”, I believe that we are all responsible for being the best person that we can be. I think religion is a waste of time, yes. I think the world would be better off without, yes. However, if your religion is harmless, then I don’t care what you do. I only care when your religion is actively harming the world. You can’t be part of a hate group but claim to be part of a love group.
I think the phrase goes, “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.” It doesn’t matter what a person means. It is our actions that define us. You can be as positive as you want to be, but if you preach a message of hatred, all the lollipops in the doctors office can’t make up for the pain you cause. Claiming God’s Love is good when God’s Love means hating doesn’t make God’s Love better. It makes you worse.
When you say that you love me, do you mean it in the God’s Love kinda way? Or the human love kinda way?
Cause God created hell and then told everyone to worship him, and if you don’t, you go to there. He calls that love. I don’t want that kind of love.
To paraphrase Stephen Fry, God gives children bone cancer. I don’t want that kind of love.
God lets those that have unabashed hate for others live in his sanctuary and preach his message. I don’t want that kind of love.
God lets his priests sexually abuse others. I don’t want that kind of love.
God lets wars be carried out in his name. I don’t want that kind of love.
God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah because of homosexuality. I don’t want that kind of love.
You can talk about Jesus’ teachings all you like, but actions speak louder than words. The Gospel of Christ is the love of an abusive partner. Say one thing, do another. God’s love is a terrible thing, and I want nothing to do with it, and anyone who does is a coward. If, and it’s a big if, if God is real, is he the kind of God you want to worship? Seems like a waste of effort at best, and a complete betrayal of others at worse. So, go ahead, spread his love around. Just remember what kind of love it is you are spreading.
Damn. This is a good one.