The error in this hed is using “could” sted “will.” Target a subset of the population, everyone is affected – and pretty much everyone I know is part of a family.

A year ago was a weird time, given we were dealing with the Reddit fallout that wildly inflated engagement, with people trying to get a feel for the platform (both Lemmy in general and Beehaw).

I tend to use !chat for things that aren’t articles. Not that that has to happen, it’s just how the communities I’m active in have evolved.

Wow. Thank you for this insightful analysis.

Huh. Columbia University disagreed 23 years ago.

My first trip was a year ago, and I’m still learning. We choose to do them, but we don’t get to choose the outcome.

My experience has been that we get confronted with what we hadn’t been willing to accept.

Ah, the shrooms came far later!

I just gave an upvote in your stead. Consider it done.

So, just to pile on, I had a girlfriend in Kindergarten. First kiss, so this predates everything else. Tomboy when I had no idea this was a concept, and when I later found her on Facebook, dyke of the highest order.

This actually started making a lot of sense. My crush of the '80s? Tasha Yar.

But Tana was just the girl who was relatable. Wanted to do guy things with the guys, and why wouldn’t you want that?

ETA: It was just the sort of thing where wrestling turned into a kiss, just because we were curious what that even entailed. Maybe I was really bad at it, but I like to think from her haircut that I was not the sole reason.

Now that I think about it, I was exposed to an unusual number of tomboys. Tessa (daughter of a friend of my mom’s) also comes to mind, and while two data points are not a trend, if we include Tana, Tessa and Tasha (she’d come along later, of course, and just be a boy’s fantasy) … well, now we pretty much only need add some apostrophes for this to be a full slate of Vulcans.

Fascinating.

My metric has been androgyny. Dude, chick … if you’re not obvious about this, I’m interested. I’m surprised this isn’t more common amongst those born in the late '70s.

It’s probable that my taste in partners stems from a complete rejection of gender roles given being told by my mom that “women can’t rape men” when, well … all fucking evidence to the contrary.

To me, a “real woman” doesn’t need a man, given the implications of that idea. Even the ones I’ve ended up with have tended to talk a big game about feminist ideals, but when the power bill needs to be paid, why can’t I just do that? Like, you have Firefox and the login credentials, and we have a joint account, so … what’s actually going on there?

My longest relationship featured power exchange, though in about the most unhealthy way possible. I don’t want to wear the pants; I want someone who makes my life easier. A partner. To the point that when I’ve had joint accounts, what I suggested was that we look at joint expenses, then divide that up to the basis points by current income levels, such that we’re both contributing the same percentage.

In both cases, I was making more, so I contributed more. But that seemed equitable and the only way that we were jointly helping each other. In no world does it make sense for me to just keep an extra $10,000 for myself because my career is longer.

I want someone to challenge me, to provide input, not someone who wants to coast on having “found a man.” But from my experience, even with independent ideas, this imbalance is so ingrained that it’s treated as a given.