I was going to send this to my DM, but then I remembered that he would absolutely do it.

Well, that was after he decided to start living in my head, so I figured I might as well try to keep him entertained.

“I cast longsword!”

“Does the paladin’s piss count as holy water?”

“You described the mech as being similar to a Gundam. So it’s a mobile suit? Does that mean I’m technically wearing it on my person?”

“Watch out for the ass-grabbing ghosts!”

“I struggle like a dog being given a pill.”

“No, don’t activate your telepathy! I don’t want your mind-herpes!”

“Wait, why is a duck that lays eggs named Mr. Quackers?” “Mr. Quackers can be whatever he wants!”

“I cast Prestidigitation and pee his pants.”

“Hey Nyarlathotep, wanna see something funny?”