My husky goes ballistic with howling if you say “space camp” and it’s pretty much the only time she gets loud. She is very unlike most huskies lol

Growing up, everyone I knew with a dog you could rile the dog up just by putting on a mask.

I have dogs of my own now but neither of them react at all if you come in looking completely different. Why are mine defective?

What do think dudes mean when they say “I got your back?” Have your bro do it.

I just remember the time I was playing my evil cleric in a campaign, we had just leveled up and I just got access to the spell Death Touch. I was itching to try it on something but the rest of the party (all good guys) was being super extra cautious as usual, despite everyone being a min-maxed fucking monster and shouldn’t be flinching from fighting, and somehow my character was left alone with the NPC that was feeding us our quests.

“I cast death touch on the old man.”

“…Are you sure?”

I glance at my notes checking the goals given to me by my own God, from the DM at the very first session. He knows I am evil, he encouraged me to play this character because he fucking loves him for some reason, and had tasked me with just causing chaos as a follower of Cyric does.

“Fuck yeah I’m sure.”

I assume he was only warning me because this dude should have been super high level, but I was also a min-maxed monster and had a +31 charisma bonus. And he rolled a 1 on the saving throw.

“You touch the old man and he screams sharply before cumpling to the ground like a sack of bricks.”

“Do we hear that?” Says our Lawful Stupid paladin who has been metagaming the entire time to try and out me as being evil.

“Yes.”

“I sprint back to see what’s going on.”

Several failed sense motive checks on his part later,

“I’m telling you, he just had a heart attack or something.”

Why do they look like monsters I would have to face in a Resident Evil game?

I wouldn’t be too hasty entering there! I had TACO BELL for lunch!

I like the bagged ones that are flavored, myself. Had this butter and garlic one that I haven’t seen since that was pure heavenly goodness. 🤤

“Get in, loser. We getting tuna.” - Cat

lol, oops

Humana do not own cats.

Cats own humans and this one has chosen you.

If I’m doing it out of the kindness of my heart (aka the players are taking way too long to solve what should be a relatively easy problem and I’m getting impatient), I’ll give them exactly what they need to get through the problem.

I usually would have things pre-placed in advance. Especially if they are going to be needed for something and there’s a chance a party member wouldn’t have the skill/spell to do it. But that doesn’t always mean the players will find it or even look for it.

If it’s just random loot time, I use the tables and roll dice for it.

Ruby, ruby, ruby, ruby AWOO

He better not compare me to a kiss from a rose, or I swear to God…

Oof. That’s gonna diminish the value a tad.

I had a huge chonker of a cat that once brought a whole-ass jackrabbit in the house. The rabbit was almost bigger than my cat!

His face in the picture of him in the rack screams “I really need to lose weight.”

If they don’t want to play it, running it isn’t gonna be that fun. That’s why I haven’t ran the Shadowrun campaign I made for my group. Nobody other than my sister wants to play SR. :/

I like SR way more than D&D, personally.

Does not require chastity

The Bard: “Say no more. I’m in.”

“Humans eat bird shirt? Gross.” Goes back to tonguing its own butthole

I’m not trying to kill my party, but I also won’t stop them from being stupid and getting themselves killed. I design my campaigns like an open world video game. Everything is going on and just reacts to the players. They can find bits of information about things and then act on it, doing whatever they want until they start finding clues about the big bad because I like to try and make it more natural with the characters just existing in the world and not the stereotypical call for adventure a lot of modules and stuff do. But this also means balancing out the world by having the encounter zones being somewhat static. Over here shit is low level, but over there stuff is high level. But like, they will have clues. If they hear the rumors of a Balrog at level 3 and want to go fight it, that’s on them.