I got a couple cats from the shelter a long time ago. One of the coolest things, they trained them to allow claw trimming and taught us how to keep it going.
Super high-value treats, do this over the course of weeks or months, whatever it takes. a treat to touch a paw -> a treat to hold a paw -> a treat to touch a bean -> a treat to inspect a nail -> a treat to touch a tool to a nail -> a treat to nip the tip -> a treat to nip 2 tips -> yada yada
one step at a time, most will eventually give.
Your character purchased and ate bad fish the night before, and you have uncontrollable gas, which quickly turns to greasy, putrid diarrhea. As the pub bouncer tosses you out the door for smelling like raw sewage, a micrometeorite hits you in the eye and lodges itself into your brain, disrupting your medula. As you lay there struggling to breate, you shake yourself awake. It would seem you fell asleep at the table and had an awful dream.
Sorry, what were you saying about not wanting to stick around?